Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Son of Sultan of Brunei's Upcoming Nups (Or, What about the Hookers?)

flower-potrait

A magnificent event, to be sure, royal nups, for jet setters, international socialites, arms dealers and curious bloggers alike. Happy-happy-joy-joy. The Future Sultan of Brunei, which, in other words means "the future richest man in the world," is getting married, and -- to a commoner, no less; how wonderfully fortunate, as such a wedding might serve as a convenient buffer against future unrest from the nation's unwashed underfed poor, and, no doubt, a venture into political relevance in this modern democratic era (The Corsair is ferociously cynical about the strategic maneuverings of tyrants and what social scientists call their "network of kin," but The Corsair likes to call "spiderwebs"). Of course, the royals must care about their people -- they married a naive, pliable 17-year old commoner into their universe. According to Hello! Magazine:

"The tiny Pacific nation of Brunei is making final preparations for a truly magnificent royal wedding. Crown Prince Al-Muhtadee Billah will marry Dayangku Sarah on Thursday in what promises to be one of the most spectacular celebrations in recent memory."

According to the media advisory issued by the nation of Brunei, "The official wedding ceremony will begin from the 26th August 2004 and end on the 13th September with the opening and closing of the gendang jaga-jaga."

And a (air quotes) "budonkedonk" to you, too, cheesecake; Hello! continues:

"Top royals and dignitaries from all over the world are expected to attend a banquet the following day, September 10. And in accordance with Brunei tradition, the festivities are already well underway. A $200,000 fireworks extravaganza planned for the night itself will mark the culmination of a 14-day party which began on August 26."

According to the Hindustan Times, some of the A-List (circa Central and Southeast Asian as well as Middle Eastern variety) include:

"Bahrain's King Hamad, Japan's Crown Prince Naruhito and other royals will join an impressive array of heads of government from Brunei's immediate neighbours at the wedding, which is to be followed by a banquet on Friday.

"The guest list includes Philippine President Gloria Arroyo, Indonesian President Megawati Sukarnoputri, Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, Singapore Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong and Malaysian Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi."

And, finally, Hello! concludes, freeing me from a Boldface Names coma:

"Prince Al-Muhtadee will one day accede to the throne of his oil-rich nation. The 30-year-old, who studied politics and international law at Oxford, was officially named as successor by his father, Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, in 1998.

"His bride-to-be, meanwhile, is still studying at a local university. The 17-year-old, who lists rock-climbing and scuba diving among her hobbies, showed off her penchant for designer labels by wearing a Dior T-shirt in recent press photos. But the teenager was sporting rather more traditional attire when she took part in a dress rehearsal for her wedding at the royal palace in Bandar Seri Begawan."

The penchant for designer labels will be well served here, but the million Brunei dollar question is, will the crown prince be forced to relinquish his penchant for highly paid Swiss hookers? Note: This Smoking Gun report throws some blinding light on the shadowy "modeling agencies" that "import" beauty contest winners through Singapore Airlines to serve as highly paid hookers for the royals and their entourages.

According to the official wedding website:

"The Royal Wedding of His Royal Highness Prince Haji Al-Muhtadee Billah, the Crown Prince of Brunei Darussalam and Dayangku Sarah binti Pengiran Salleh Ab Rahaman will be held on Thursday the 9th September 2004 in Bandar Seri Begawan.

"The Wedding Ceremony will take place at Istana Nurul Iman.The ceremony will be according to Islamic Wedding Rites and follow The Malay wedding tradition.The Akad Nikah ceremony will be on the 4th September while the Bersanding ceremony will take place on the morning of the 9th September. This will be followed by the wedding Procession around Bandar Seri Begawan.

"This is a grand event in Brunei Darussalam and we invite all to celebrate this joyous occasion."

All, you say? Anyhoo, as quite a few media-journo-types read this blog, I thought I'd relate this info, in whimsy, just to see what might happensif The Corsair Nation would invade the tiny but wealthy tyranny of Brunei. I can dream, anyway:

"Access to media facilities will be available to accredited media representatives. Accreditation is open to bona-fide journalists, broadcasters, photographers, film and TV cameramen and technicians. Application for accreditation should be made on the attached Media accreditation forms. Forms are also available to be downloaded from the official Royal Wedding website.

"Applications must be endorsed by a senior executive of the Newspaper, TV station, News and photo agency, or media organization that the applicant works for and accompanied by three (3) recent passport size photographs.

"Photo passes will be issued against signature in Bandar Seri Begawan.

"Applications should be sent by courier, fax or email to the following:

"The Secretariat
Committee on Publicity and Information,
Information Department
Prime Minister?s Office
Old Airport, Berakas BB3510
Brunei Darussalam
Fax: 673-2382242 / 2382548/
infococi@brunei.bn / infoweb@brunet.bn"

The Corsair would send out an application, but that Swiss hooker observation might prejudice "the man" against my application. You are free to try. Send me an email if you get credentials. You can be my Brunei Corsair Jet Set Wedding of the Decade Special Correspondent. And, you can hang. Holla.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

might have gone too far this time

Anonymous said...

too funny. love your site and have been missing you. every day i saw paris, puffy and tinkerbell and was wondering what you were doing up there in brooklyn. keep writing, i'll keep reading. xoxo