Saturday, January 08, 2005

Mickey Rooney's Ass Deemed Inappropriate

Perhaps the Fox has been harshed upon too much by the liberal media elite? No? Okay.

We digress. Fox recently saved us from the ungodly sight of vast kosherized veal-like expanses of Mickey Rooney's (remember "Sugarbabies"?) waay past expiration date -- USDA passed it's prime -- alabaster ass-cheek choice cuts, according to the AP:

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Above: Damn, how can you resist a taste of this.. mm-hmm mouth-watering "sweet ass" ...

"'A year after Janet Jackson's breast brought a crackdown on indecency, Fox has rejected an ad for the Super Bowl offering a rare view of another celeb: Mickey Rooney's backside."

Oh, say it, ASSociated Press: Mickey Rooney's "sugarbabies," his ass ...

In the spot for Airborne, a natural cold remedy, the 84-year-old star of such 1940s staples as National Velvet and the Andy Hardy films is in a sauna when someone behind him coughs. He overreacts, jumps up, screams and heads for the door. In his rush, his towel drops, baring his buns for about two seconds."

--(Averted Gaze) Two fucking seconds too long, we might add ...

"Our standards department reviewed the ad and it was deemed innappropriate for broadcast,' says Lou d'Ermilio, spokesman for Fox Sports."

"But Rider McDowell, co-owner of Airborne, says it's not exactly titillating stuff. 'There's nothing sexual about the ad,' McDowell says. 'It's tantamount to showing a baby's bottom.'"

A sugarbaby's bottom, aged, to spicy imperfection, like a blue cheese ...

"Rooney, who was planning a Super Bowl party, says in a statement he's angry. He wanted to be the butt of this joke: 'What we're selling here is something I really believe in, which is an awareness of the germs we're all exposed to. There's nothing sensual about the brief exposure of my backside, and it's not gratuitous. ... It's a fun spot, and the public deserves to see it.'"

(A considerable pause) No ... no, The Corsair has considered the matter, and, all told, we don't.

"McDowell says he has been in talks with Fox since August about the 15-second spot, for which he planned to pay $1.2 million, 10% of the Carmel, Calif.-based company's annual ad budget.

"'We're disappointed and angry,'" says McDowell, 42. And while he admits that he hoped to create 'buzz, 'McDowell thinks Fox is being 'overzealous in their policing of the airwaves.'"

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