Thursday, March 16, 2006

Reason #734 Why Britney Needs To Put On Shoes

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(image via ohnotheydidnt)

We'd like to start this post by asking in earnest that Britney Spears put down that steaming plate of Possum and listen.

Dear Britney:

There are hundreds of reasons as to why you should put aside your natural, semi-savagish tendency of walking around barefoot in public. For one, the acrid stench. (Averted Gaze)

And now, this:

"Britney Spears had to be rushed to hospital after treading on a hypodermic needle.

"The pop babe - who is on holiday in Hawaii - had stepped out of her car without shoes on when she trod on the needle in a parking lot.The panic-stricken star was taken to Hawaii State Hospital, but tests showed the needle was unused.

"A source is quoted in Britain's Daily Star newspaper as saying: 'Britney is going to be fine. She's got a nasty cut but it's been disinfected and dressed and she's been released from hospital.
'It was more the shock of seeing the needle poking out of her foot - as you can imagine. All sorts of things race through your mind in that situation. The conclusion we would all jump to is that it was discarded by a drug user."

You're a Mommy now, Britney. Be responsible. Stop being feral. Time to lose that "nurtured in the wilderness" vibe and join human civilization.

Thank you.

3 comments:

Carolyn said...

Wait - I'm a Mommy now - does that mean I shouldn't have needles sticking out of my arm? Or is it just feet that are a problem?

Still lookin' to Britney for guidance and a friend to have coffee with - or wothout a car seat,

C-Lo

Carolyn said...

Wothout. A workout without sweating = wothout.

The Corsair said...

Just the feet C-Lo. I also long to eat chicken fingers with Brit, feet unadorned, someday. (a considerable sigh) These posts are just my bratty way of getting her attention.