Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Haloween

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K-Fed, not so much Fraudulent It Boy as Freudian Id Boy; so goddam fertile he could make a man pregnant. ()image via wireimage)

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Star Jones can only be properly construed under the category of jest. (image via wireimage)

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Hugh Jackman, next starring in: WolverQueen. (image via nysocialdiary)
Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural

lemora

(image via drafthouse)

Granted, The Omen, The Excorcist, Suspiria and Halloween are, in that order, the scariest films ever. But how about "Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural." It used to come on the UPN network years ago on Halloween. Since then it has sort of disappeared, but which carried about it that haunted air of the early 70s (Vietnam, Watergate, Excorcist).
Separated at Birth

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Overhyped debut artist Lady Sovereign. (image via osheaga)

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And underappreciated "Deb," from the overhyped Napoleon Dynamite. (image via bilder)

Monday, October 30, 2006

Novak: Michael J Fox Is Fair Game

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We didn't expect the despicable, Robert Novak, to be warm and, like, human. No, we like our Novak served cold. When Novak distorts his face, spittles up and wags his finger we half expect purple bolts of Sith lightning to strike the hapless, though we cannot fail to note, delicious Michelle Cottle (The Corsair sips a glass of Pernod). But no: Novak is more Dickensian --the three piece suits, the vapid insistence on a Capital gains tax cut -- than Lucasfilm. even this attack on Michael J. Fox went beyond his Luciferian limits. On Bloomberg's Political Capital, Novak rants:

"Michael J Fox admitted to (sometimes) not taking his medicine ... when (Fox) gets into the political arena, he's fare game."

Even the normally staid Margaret Carlson blanched, throwing an acid "shame on you" to Novak, who, at last sighting, was descending back into the bowels of Hell to do Satan's fetid handicraft.
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David Hasselhoff .... A young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law. (image via wireimage)

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Quincy "Q" Jones reluctantly concedes that his pimpiness pales in comparison to the priapic Warren Beatty; but he's drinking milk. (image via wireimage)

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Charmed, I'm sure. (image via thecobrasnake)

Saturday, October 28, 2006

President Al Gore?



As the environmental issue becomes more and more resonant it seems like the political planets are aligning themselves for an Al Gore Presidential run, no?

Gore's endorsement of Howard Dean at the time, appeared foolish, clumsy. Dean went on to lose the Democratic caucus in Iowa, brought low by the party Establishment (Was the fabled Dean scream really a category 4 political "meltdown"? Or, more likely, a convenient way for the Establishment on Embassy Row to dispose of a bombthrower), thus becoming a folk-hero to the ever-influential progressive bloggers. Then, the bloggers fought back months later, electing Dean to DNC Chair (against the Clinton candidates) where, stealthily, the Scorpionic Dean is working within the halls of power to shatter the DC Establishment in favor of state-level grassroots politics. This is a long, slow process; in retrospect, Gore's endorsement looks uncannily prophetic. Gore, the ultimate insider -- St. Albans, Harvard, Congress -- is the dream candidate of the pajama-clad DC smashers.

The environment, as we alluded to, is growing in importance. Gore avoided the issue entirely in 2000, preferring to run the typical Centrist, vaguely-technocratic poll-oriented candidacy that has been favored by Democratic candidates for President since Jimmy Carter (Fritz Mondale could, arguably, be considered a tad more progressive than Centrist, but only a tad -- and, tellingly, Fritzie was blown out by the Reagan machine in '84).

Now, it seems, is the Progressives turn. After umpteen attempts at the Presidency weilding the Centrist message, only to be trumped by the Rovian charge of seedy Flip-Floppery, The Second Coming of Al Gore seems almost fated. If only he can co-opt the message of character, perhaps dressing it in a lush Environmental Green (The Corsair sips a meaty 2000 Montrachet).

Aside from the noble John Quincy Adams and, possibly, George HW Bush, 41, Gore would be one of the most qualified men to make such a run for The Big Show. He has served in Congress, the Senate, and 8 years as the then-most powerful Vice President ever. And now, most curiously, something rather novel in the curriculum vitae of a politician: A successful businessman. So successful in his mini-medi moguldom, in fact, that it is not inconceivable that Gore could self-finance his campaign entirely even though, considering his rabid online support, he really wouldn't have to. Moveon.org and Dailykos has got his back.

Still, this, interestingly, makes him, perhaps, the only Dem that could on monies and star wattage (Obama is too green, he needs administrative seasoning), put Gore on equal footing with The Billary Juggernaut (tm).

Let;s follow this thought experiment to its logical conclusion. Who would Gore need to counter a, say, McCain-Sam Brownback ticket. Giuliani is going nowhere -- even if Ed Guillespie goes over to his camp after the elections, as WasPost's Kathleen Parker seems to believe. Frankly, Giuliani, with several marriages, including one to his own cousin, will not go over in red-state Peoria. Trsu us, Giuliani wants to run because he believes all politicos have to go with a hot hand; he'd rather just make the run to ratchet us his speaker's fees. The ferociously ambitious yet fetchingly photogenic Mitt Romney will mistily evaporate as a credible threat after next Tuesday's elections and the Republican party faces massive loss of Governorships -- Romney is head of the Republican Governor's Association. This leaves McCain, heir to Bush, inheritor of the Iraq war.

But McCain, too close to the media, is distrusted by red-meat munching Conservatives. So he needs someone -- an ideological babysitter of sorts -- with bona fides to cement the ticket. That, dear readers, will not be Bill Frist, the most incompetent Senate Majority Leader in recent memory (and one fairly reeking of scandal). That leaves Sam Brownback, a formidable and principled Conservative whose historical hero is Samuel Wilberforce, the anti-slavery reformer. McCain-Gingrich is also within the realm of possibilty, but we find it to be disharmonious. (A McCain-Hagel ticket would be McCain's dream, but it is too topheavy with Reformers)

So where does Gore go? Not Hillary, the two really can't stand each other. And, yes, politics can rise above that, but -- roll with me here -- Hillary brings nothing to a Gore ticket, except, maybe Bill, and he'll already have Bill's support if he secures the nomination. Had Hillary run for the senate in Arkansas, maybe.

No -- Obama is still too green and, like Hillary, doesn't bring any flava into the mix (Illinois is solid Dem territory). Evan Bayh might be a contender, he brings Indiana, where he is wildly popular. The problem is that watching Bayh on the stump is about as exciting as watching plants produce oxygen (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detahcment).


How about Gore-Mark Warner.

Just a Corsair thought experiment (Or, for the grown-up, Southern National Security ticket, how about Gore-Sam Nunn).
Jodie Foster: Live and Unplugged

We rather like the cerebral Jody Foster, who studied Medieval French at Yale, even after this debacle:

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Now, if only Kate Hudson could tame his aversion to fashion. (image via wireimage)


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Gene Simmons, who never tires of separating his fan base from their paychecks, introduces the "Kiss Perfume" with the tag-line, "Guaranteed to mask the scent of Pathetic."(image via wireimage)



The Sir Edmund Hillary of Social Climbers, Bob Colacello, attempts to mount -- pun entirely intended -- the perilous, icy glacier Claudia Cohen. (image via nysocialdiary)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Dominique Swain's Nip Slip

If Lolita actress Dominique Swain has a nip slip in the middle of a forest of papparazi does anyone care? Fuck yeah:

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Whoopsie! (image via wireimage)

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(image via wireimage)

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It's all good! (image via wireimage)
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If you have just looked at this picture of Johnny Knoxville for more than a second, you might want to get tested for Hepatitis just to be on the safe side. (image via wireimage)



After watching that shitty little "House of Boateng" show on Sundance Channel (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), we can see why the ordinarily fascinating Oswald Boateng prefers the cloak of anonymity these days. (image via style)



Would the yummy Famke Jannsen like The Corsair to call her for breakfast .. or nudge her? (image via fashionweekdaily)
Bloggers to UTA?!

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(image via chazzreinhold via nytimes)

Imagine you are a talented blogger read by thousands but lacking in mainstream credit (Hmm. Who could that be?). Your ideas are frequently stolen, unattributed, by other forms of media. You have little recourse and fairly little upwards mobility. Welcome to the world of blogging. If only you had an agent. Yesterday's Old Gray Lady tackled the novel idea of bloggers actually getting agents to help navigate the complex world of showbiz. UTA Online's Brent Weinstein, Jason U. Nadler, Barrett D. Garese and Ryan Reber will be on the lookout for web talent. To wit:

"The move by the United Talent Agency .. best known as the home of comedians like Vince Vaughn and Jack Black, filmmakers like M. Night Shyamalan and television producers like Dick Wolf and David Chase .. amounts to a bet, albeit a modest one, that Web video is on a growth curve similar to that of cable television a generation ago. It is also a return by Hollywood's core talent representatives to the sort of new-media business they tested, without great success, at the peak of the dot-com boom.

"The goal this time around, executives say, is not only to recruit the next generation of television and film writers and directors from the relative obscurity of sites like YouTube and Revver. It is also to help the major Web portals that are hungry for original content to find the creative people they need .. just as movie studios have long turned to talent agencies when looking for new directors, screenwriters and actors.

"'..It starts with just helping identify people on both sides of the aisle,.. said Brent Weinstein, head of the new division, UTA Online. ..The barrier to entry is so low, everybody is now a potential artist. So there..s this great unwashed of talent out there, 99.999 percent of which is probably not good enough to have a traditional film and television career. But on the Internet, a lot of different types of things go.'"

Where does The Corsair sign?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Vincent Gallo: Fucker

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How many times does 45 go into 16? That's something the local authorities might want to ask supercreep Vincent Gallo. Gallo, as you will remember, likes his 'em young. When he was 30, he was chatting up Chloe Sevigny, then 17. According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"'BROWN Bunny' director Vincent Gallo, 45, has a new friend - Los Angeles 'It' Girl Cory Kennedy, 16. Kennedy, who blogs about her nightlife exploits and dalliances with celebrities despite being underage, has called Gallo a 'keeper' on her blog and posts pictures of them together. Asked to comment, Gallo - who stressed there is no sexual relationship between the two - told Page Six: 'With the psychotic, middle-aged Madonna out there on the loose buying up all the stolen Negro babies in Africa, I felt it my social and humanitarian duty to take in any young, beautiful and sexy orphaned Jew teens running wild in Beverly Hills. Cory's a great kid, and I'm proud to be her daddy.'"

Scummy. Reminds us of Vincent Gallo's thoughts on the then barely legal Christina Ricci, who eventually starred in his shitty little pic "Buffalo 66". From an US Magazine interview in 1998:

"US Magazine: What do you think of Hollywood?

"Christina: There's a part of me that really loves it. I like going to fancy hotels. I like it when you feel glamorous, someone dresses you up and you go to the big premiere. The other stuff is kind of icky. I have a friend who does casting. Someone will walk in and he'll say, 'So good to meet you,' and then they'll walk out and he'll say, 'She's a little big around the middle.' That part of it is disgusting.
In 'Now and Then', your character binds her breast becuase she thinks they're too big.

"US Magazine: Have you ever done that?

"Christina: I used to do that from the time I was 12 till I was 15. You have to. [Hollywood] makes you. It makes you resent yourself. Buffalo '66 and Opposite of Sex helped me so much. Vincent [Gallo] said, 'You have a great body.' That made me feel better.

"US Magazine: How did Gallo persuade you to do Buffalo '66?

"Christina: He ran for a block in the rain to get me matches for my cigarette. He's like a professional charmer. He can seduce anyone."

Preferably if they are underage.

New posts from The Corsair -- February 2011 -- here.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

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Maybe Iraq's not that into us. (image via typicallyspanish)



Reason #7,522 why Oliver Stone is behind and not in front of the camera. (image via nysocialdiary)



Doesn't it seem, sometimes, that Charlie Sheen is the Sheen that got all the Sheen genetic mutations. (image via nysocialdiary)
Alex Kuczynski on "Scrotal Waxing"



(image via mediabistro)

Sometimes we simply loathe the fact that we come from an overcosmeticized blue state, and this, dear readers, is the reason why. Two words: "Scrotal Waxing." (A considerable pause) We've been around the block, dear reader, we have seen some fucked up shit ... but this ... robs us of our usual witty repartee. Metrosexuality has, officially and unequivocally, jumped the goddam shark. Dedicated materialist and Old Gray Lady scribbler Alex Kucynsky According to the papermag blog:

"Consider this quote from Alex, taken from an article from the forthcoming December/January issue of PAPER Magazine, on stands next month:

"'I was at a dinner party the other night with two very straight male friends, and they called me over and they were like, 'Alex, you've got get your husband to call this person now--it will make his life so much better.' I was like, 'What does this person do?' 'Scrotal waxing,' they told me. I'm not joking. They were euphoric. They were like, 'Now our girlfriends and wives will put them in their mouths!'"

Thanks for sharing, Alex! It's almost as tasty a slice of dish as when you told us PR powerhouse Peggy Siegal had plastic surgery to transfer "material" from her ass to her face.
Terry Richardson to Shoot the CMA's



Freak of the week. (image via fpac)

Our favorite pervert with an instamatic Terry Richardson, the Marquis de Sade of magazines, is going "country", according to Fashionweekdaily:

"Harper�s Bazaar is going country: the magazine is sending Terry Richardson to Nashville to conduct a photo shoot during the 40th-annual Country Music Awards and its pre-show festivities�"

Just be careful in that red-state, Terry. Lesser freaks than you have been tarred and feathered on a lonely backroad for asking the farmer's daughter gingerly to "show us your tits." We know the kind of "artistic pictures" you shoot, Mr. Richardson. "Tasteful," our ass!
Pacino On Gigli



(image via popartuk)

The French word for ham is le jambon; in America, we call it Al Pacino. A Pacino performance can be such a scenery chewing hammy experience ("Scarface," "Scent of a Woman") or, conversely, "intense" (Donny Brasco," "Looking for Richard"). Three years may have passed, but Al Pacino is still desperately trying to distance himself from his cameo role as something called "Starkman (Averted Gaze)" in the mother of all disasters, "Gigli (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)". From the October 2006 Hollywood Life:

HollywoodLife: Did you appear in a cameo in the J.Lo/ Ben Affleck disaster Gigli as a favor to Martin Brest, who directed you in Scent of a Woman?

Pacino: Not exactly. I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for having a history with Marty, but I felt he wrote some nice stuff and I thought I'd try to do something with the character. I didn't think I caught any flavor at all. They wanted to increase the part and have me go back for more takes, but I thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie."

Good instincts, Al; you're our favorite ham. Now if only you can turn down the le jambon factor exhibited most recently in "The Devil's Advocate."

Monday, October 23, 2006

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No, really Jamie: Shut the Fuck Up. (image via wireimage)



Forget North Korea: beware: Kim Wrong-Ill. (image via wireimage)



We won't even entertain the possibility that a robust vitamin water might be the more health-forward choice. (image via thecobrasnake)



Usually when Kiefer Sutherland affects this pose, the police are saying, "now touch your nose and walk this line straight." (image via wireimage)
Cook versus Rove: Quien Es Mas Metrix?



(image via cpnys.org)

Whose Metrix are most macho? The affable Charlie Cook, a reliable, nonpartisan source of political data predicts that Republicans are looking at, more or less, a net loss of 20 seats. Karl Rove, however, claims that Republicans will keep the House.

Quien en mas Metrix?

Ordinarily we would say Charlie Cook without reservation. Cook's data is the industry standard in DC. However, remember November 2004? That's when every exit poll showed Kerry was the President-elect. Those polls led alot of people the morning after to lament, like Charlie Brown, "How can we lose when we're so sincere." The Corsair is just saying ..

No doubt, Karl Rove is an expert --like his hero Napoleon -- at victory. He, through Ohio (as brilliantly chronicled by Matt Bai in the NYTimes magazine) -- reshaped the landscape of the political game, adding new Evangelical voters, who flew under the radar of conventional data polling, confounding the Eastern elite metric methodology.

Can he do so again?

Although every poll says otherwise, it is entirely within the realm of possibility -- Jesus logic -- that Rove is right. Then again, as he spoke at the Tom Reynolds Buffalo fundraiser (Intersting how the Republicans made the floundering Reynolds their point man on the Buffalo snowstorm, eh?), couching stale political rhetoric about "security (Averted Gaze), it does seem -- on purely face value -- that Rove may be posturing, gaseously, trying to counteract the headlines of the daily newspapers, so as to not dispirit the already dispirited base and get a decent turnout. Then again, you never know ...

A whole host of questions arises as a result of this. The Corsair wonders: If Rove is right and conventional polling is wrong then -- dare we say it? -- ought we to rethink our whole reliance of "science." If Karl Rove's methodology confounds pointy-headed liberals then: Might the Earth be 4,000 years old, as Evangelicals maintain? Might dinosaur bones be planted by ... The Devil?

Naaaah ..
Did Paris Smuggle The Sweet Leaf?



(image via newsoftheworld)

Nick Carter of the unwatchable E! television reality show "House of Carter (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)" grabs headlines -- albeit in the extremely downmarket Newsoftheworld -- by suggesting, gamely, that Paris Hilton smuggled weed. Say it isn't so, Paris: Tell me why/ Ain't nothin' but a heartache/ Tell me why/ Ain't nothin but a mistake" Says Newsoftheworld:

"Nick, 26, was not surprised when two weeks ago we published pictures of her at a Milan fashion show with what appeared to be cannabis in her make-up bag.

"He claims she was so hooked on the drug she'd even smuggle it on to aeroplanes � in TEDDY BEARS.

"'If she was going overseas she'd cut a hole in her teddy and stuff it with cannabis,' he said.

"'She had to have her own private stash with her at all times regardless of the consequences.'"

The sad saga of an ex-boybander continues:

"'Then, seven months into their relationship the cracks really started to show. 'I heard rumours that Paris was cheating on me,' said Nick.

"'I wanted revenge. When I was in Texas with the band I met singer Ashlee Simpson and we slept together.

"'Unfortunately I lied to her and said I'd split with Paris so when she found out I hadn't, it was the last I heard from her.

"'Then Paris found out and we were over too. Now the last person I'd date is some rich kid who's had everything handed to her on a plate. Give me a normal girl any day.'"

A cautionary tale, to be sure. (Newsoftheworld)

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Everything Was So Much Better in the 70s

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You'd think that someone not unfamiliar with the wonderful world of mascara like Gene Simmons might select a more believable brand of hair dye. (image via wireimage)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

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--But when they got home, she smacked him on the ass robustly and growled, "Now, go warm up Reecey's dinner, like a good boy." (image via wireimage)




The Indians said she was white by law. The White Man always called her "Indian Squaw"
(image via thecobrasnake)



Tommy Hilfiger, basking in the turgid afterglow of the Axl Rose ass-kicking. (image via wireimage)
Snipes ... On the Move

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(image via cheapestdvdmovies)

Wesley Snipes, the dusky batterer of Andy Dick, a fugitive in US Marshalls, is now -- how does one say it? -- a fugitive himself. According to Vibe:

"A federal arrest warrant was issued for the actor Wesley Snipes after the Bronx-bred actor and two other men were indicted in Ocala, Fl., for trying to defraud the government out of $12 million.

"According to the Daily News, Snipes, 44, was indicted on eight counts of tax fraud and charged with failing to file returns from 1999 through 2004. He allegedly conspired with Eddie Ray Kahn and Douglas Rosile to file false refund claims based on a false argument that only income from foreign sources was subject to taxation.

"The multimillion-dollar refunds Snipes claimed were never paid by the government."

Let us hope the manhunt takes place during the day alighted by the sun as everyone know that Wesley Snipes is virtually invisible in the night.
TV 2.0, Bloodletting at NBC: News Division Isn't an Area of High Growth

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(image via inetours)

Ah, ther curse of "growth." Forget, for a second, that NBC News is the apex predator -- the alpha, if you will -- of network news divisions (Isn't Bob Wright on his way out?). It just simply isn't an area, as Jeff Zucker, AKA "Zippy," might call high growth. MSNBC and all that. And so 5-percent of the workforce is being severed (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Spun as a reevaluation of the news business in the era of digital media, it will be a hard sell to be sure to those now presently unemployed.

This trend may explain, all told, CBS News' uneasy marriage of the Sports and News divisions ("Tonight on '60 Minutes, yet another beefy athelete on steroids and drugs"); it might also explain The Great Katie Couric Experiment (tm).

It seems that if network news is going to survive, it will have to take on the characteristsics of entertainment. It also seems as if we are just going to increase the time we spend watching the BBC.

From the WSJ on the bloodletting at 30 Rock today:

"NBC's restructuring plan also makes it the first major TV company to say that it sees limited growth potential in the news business. Most of the initial layoffs will come in the company's 11 news divisions, and they will include on-air talent. Operations for the cable-news channel MSNBC in Secaucus, N.J., will be shuttered and moved to Rockefeller Center in Manhattan and another facility in New Jersey.

"'We will aggressively protect all of our brands,' Mr. Zucker said, but he added that the company has to acknowledge news isn't an area of high growth."

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Separated at Birth



Oscarworthy Don Cheadle ... (image via starpulse)



... and "Cats" profitter, David Geffen. (image via forbes)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Does Chris O'Donnell Want "Mango"?

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(image via yahoo)

On the face of it the aesthetics are magnificently disgusting (The Corsair listlessly imbibes a Chateau Lafite Rothschild 2003 Bordeaux). Imagine man-on-man action between comedian Chris Kattan and the nebulous Chris O'Donnell. Further, according to Jim Breuer, Chris Kattan is disreputable -- a comedic thief (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), a freak without warning. So take this with a grain of salt, or, better yet, a dash of "Mango (Averted Gaze)." That having been said, Chris Kattan told a rather ... improbable tale ... involving the charismatically-challenged Chris O'Donnell on Howard Stern today, to wit (via marksfriggin):

"Chris (Kattan)... told a story about going to Cabo for a bachelor party down there. He said he ran into Chris O'Donnell at the airport and he was wondering what had happened to him since he was in Batman. He said hello to the guy like all celebrities do. O'Donnell's wife sat next to him on the flight while Chris sat about 2 rows in front of him. He said he fell asleep and when he woke up a couple of hours later he noticed that O'Donnell was staring at him. Then he looked over and saw his wife turned away trying to eat a salad. Then he noticed that he had an erection. He said he doesn't know how long he had it.

"Chris said that O'Donnell wouldn't talk to him after they got off the flight."

Mama said what? (Marksfriggin)
Hastert to Japan?

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With the Dems slated to win back the House what's a "husky" former wrestling coach turned Speaker to do? Besides Disneyland, we mean (The Corsair puts on Sting's superior new collection of John Dowland's Early Music, "Labyriths"). According to our favorite Dickensian villain Robert Novak:

"A question asked on Capitol Hill is whether the Mark Foley scandal will kill House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert's longtime ambition to be named U.S. ambassador to Japan. Even if Republicans retain control of the House this year, Hastert is considered unlikely to get a fifth term as speaker. Hastert as a young man was a summer English-language teacher in Japan and would like to return as his nation's diplomatic representative. What is in doubt is whether the Foley scandal casts a cloud over his confirmation."

There does seem to be prestige -- or, as the Japanese say "face," in Tokyo, recall that former Vice President Walter Mondale returned to government as Clinton's Ambassador to Japan after, reportedly, turning down The Court of St. James.
Diane Sawyer to Bring "Poised, Creamy Insincerity" to Pyongyang

"Budger of history-- Brake of time --You --Bomb/
Toy of universe ---Grandest of all snatched sky"

Gregory Corso, Bomb

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The long suffering North Koreans will have to make due with the poised, creamy insincerity of Diane "Damn, That's Some Salty Chili" Sawyer in addition to The Bomb, and a dictator who likes to slurp Johnny Walker.

-- And while we are on the subject: Why do all Third World dictators love Johnny Walker scotch whiskey? Did Johnny Walker scotch throw beaucoup marketing dollars in the early 70s into newly independent colonies? Is that how the brown juice flows? Johnny Walker Black is like cashmoney at military checkpoints and roadblocks throughout sub-Saharan Africa, just so you know.

But back to Diane Sawyer, says TVNewser:

"David Westin's work has paid off again: Diane Sawyer is being allowed to report from North Korea beginning tomorrow. She co-hosted Good Morning America from Beijing this morning.

"'Tuesday we'll take you inside the mystery of this ancient culture, a nation locked away from the world, now wielding weapons of mass destruction ..'"

No doubt she said this in the same breathy voice that rendered the priapic Warren Beatty and the doughy-faced Ambassador Richard Holbrook into putty.
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Reece Witherspoon escorts her saucy man-bitch of a husband to the premiere of his new film, "Flags of our Fathers." (image via justjared)

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Why doesn't this deadly tiger gnaw on Nicolette Sheridan? Professional courtesy among maneaters, of course. (image via hellomagazine)

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Russell Simmons, as per usual, looking in dire need of a robust multivitamin. (image via wireimage)



Instead of saying cheese, the photographer tried to get Ned Beatty to "squeal like a pig." An uncomfortable silence immediately ensued. (image via nysocialdiary)



He'd rather be listening to Ghostface Killa. (image via nysocialdiary)



For a refreshing change: Dita Von Teese, not buck ass-naked. (image via style)