Thursday, November 30, 2006

Conde Nast Musical Chairs

(image via nypost)

As we have written previously on the annual Conde Nast holiday luncheon: "Ah, the holidays are here again, and that means missletoe, the ambient tones of Manheim Steamroller, pine needles underfoot, that silly woman who invariably gets carried home through the chilly streets of New York by her patient chums because she drank too much egg nog at the company party, and, of course, the Conde Nast Four Seasons editor and pubisher bash. Imagine the collective egos assembled in that one room; all that hot air in a single location."

Of course there is -- wink, wink -- no smoking at the Four Seasons (That is, of course, unless you are referring to Cindi Leive's perfect motherfucking ass; if there is such a thing as the Platonically perfect Ass, it belongs to Cindi Leive). More:

"Just as Dante Aligheri places the true Paradiso in the Empyrean, situated outside the universe, and therefore outside space and time, those outer tables, far away from the Mystic Rose, that celestial choir that is Si Newhouse, are less appealing, less -- shall we say -- 'holy.'

"And would it be a far stretch of the imagination to envision the editors at Conde Nast dressed in ermine?

"Why, Teen Vogue Editor-in-Chief Amy Astley is seated so close to Si that she can just ... just dip her head, slightly and gently brush her rose lips against his signet ring.

"Not since the Court of the Sun King has anyone assembled such a crowd of nonpareil beauty and excellence."

Amy Astley, we cannot fail to note, is in Outer Siberia this year. Plus sa change ...
Seinfeld Season Seven Sells

(image via leedberg)

Seinfeld Season Seven DVDs are selling like crackrock. Charmed, I'm sure. They are even outselling season 6, at present, by as much as 70 goddamned percent! W, to the T, to the F: What the fuck, people! As the old adage unfortunately goes: There is no such a thing as bad publicity. According to the NYPost:

"'I think the only explanation that could be is that there's a Kramer curiosity factor,' says Dr. Robert Thompson, director of Syracuse University's Center for the Study of Popular Television.

"'I can understand that, after what happened, there's a resurgent interest in 'Seinfeld,' and that seems to be expressing itself through people watching the show more and buying more DVDs.

"'Boy, is it ever weird to watch 'Seinfeld' now,' Thompson added.

"Richards 'carries baggage, when you see this happy-go-lucky guy barge into that apartment and talk about being 'master of his domain.' That really means something different now.'"

You dsidn't go there New York Post, you didn't just fucking go there ..

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Alert the University of Chicago Anthropology Department, we've found The Missing Link. (image via mikedolbear)
Revenge of the Nerds

As George Soros alights the lambent flames of liberty 'neath the flabby asses of Central and Eastern European autocrats and Bill Gates stoops to conquer AIDS it becomes evident to us that the nerds, indeed, have had the last laugh.

(image via hnf)

And by nerds The Corsair means those science-mathematics geek-freaks, the ones we never had time for except to, say, deliver the perfect wet willie or liberate from their lunch monies (The Corsair sips a meaty Madeira). Those geeks are now our Masters. And the geek shall inherit the earth.

How else does one explain those geeks from YouTube clearing a cool, crisp billion? The rise of David Itzkoff, sci-fi conch? And it is bonus season, that time of year when those Wall Street squids make more in bonuses that you or The Corsair will make all fucking year. To quote Edmund Burke, "The age of chivalry is gone.--That of sophisters, economists and calculators has succeeded."

Motherfuck! (The Corsair swings an impotent fist at the moon)

The Democratic frontrunners? Al Gore, the patron saint of all gearheads, and Hillary Clinton, with her perpetual air of valedictorian? Let's face it, homesl: Revenge of the Nerds has turned out to be the most poignant and prophetic films of the age.

Our President, clearly not a geek, once in the thrall of hypergeekish Karl Rove, is now firmly ensorcelled in the mesmeric gaze of James "My Middle Name is Addison" Baker, a poly-sci grind of the first goddmaned magnitude. And the next Secretary General of the UN is described as Decaffinated Kofi, if it was logistically possible to be geekier than than the impossibly mild Annan.

Even the music industry, once a playground for poets and hip ne'er do wells with astonishingly potent weed connects is being transformed, as we speak, by Steve Jobs' iTunes. Internet killed the video star.

Television? The technology better known as TiVo is rearranging that horizon, and on the programming side shows like CSI -- glamourizing forensic geeks -- and sci-fi/ fantasy hits like "Battlestar Galactica" and "Lost" prevail (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

The future of Hollywood? Think: Comic book tentpoles and hedge-fund geeks. The studios are backing the Spidermans of the world, and the hedge fundies everything else (Let's not even talk about the preponderance of CGI-techies). The obligatory appearance at Comicon has replaced the obligatory appearace at Cannes. One must placate the techno-virgins and "avids" from Aintitcool News.

Sports: The creepy-eyed Marc Cuban.

The Nerds have won -- you best believe it. You should have majored in chemistry after all.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Ethan Hawke looking, as per usual in dire need of a bath. (image via wireimage)

Just what is it about Wilmer Valderama that suggests dead hookers and lime pits? (image via wireimage)

Hacky, wooden actress Amanda Peet mistakenly veers into an "emotional space," for which she promptly apologized and returned to her scenery-chewing impersonation of a petrified forest. (image via wireimage)

And, we imagine, along that flamboyant little Ocean Drive are "chocolate starfish." (image via justjared)
Robin Quivers: Seinfeld Show Was Racist

(image via starpluse)

Is there some sort of undercover frisson between Robin Quivers of the Howard Stern Show and Jerry Seinfeld? There was, for a time, some beef between Seinfeld pal Bill Maher and Howard Stern. Stern used to claim that he invented the format for "Politically Incorrect," which did not make Maher happy. Stern, though, it should be noted, also claimed to have created MTV Unplugged because bands played on his show without electric first (Howard is sort of like Little Richard that way). Then there was an episode of Politically Incorrect where Robin came on and was verbally sandbagged by Seinfeld, Bill Maher and Larry Miller for thirty minutes(all longtime pals). Now, Robin Quivers -- returning fire? -- is asserting that the Seinfeld TV Show, which, admittedly, had fewer African-American characters than even the absurd "Friends" (What New York City are these shows fucking portraying?) is racist. Stupid, yes; vapid, exclusionary and Harvard Lampoonish, yes; racist -- nah. According to Marksfriggin:

"Howard said Michael Richards was on the show one time and he was an awful interview. He was just a bore. Howard said the reason that Jerry Seinfeld went on Letterman and tried to get Richards to apologize is because they have this huge following that could turn on them because of something like that. He said he knows of people who love the show and are effected by what he said. Robin said she was never a fan of Seinfeld and she always thought the show was racist. She also said that the whole Letterman thing was really bizarre."

The Corsair watched a Seinfeld rerun yesterday. It was ... odd. It felt all homey and nice, but then ... Cosmo Kramer came on. And it put us in a dark place. Seinfeld, quite frankly, will never be the same.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Karmazin Wants To Merge XM and Sirius

(image via peabody)

Whatever happened to Mel Karmazin (The Corsair sips a Chateaux neuf du Pape)? Remember his larger-than-life media profile when he was the heir-apparent to the Methuselan mastermind Sumner Redstone? That honorific now falls into the Dark soul of Les Moonves and his retrofitted fembot Queen of the Night, Julie Chen (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). He duly went off to Sirius and has been low profile. Until now. According to Paidcontent:

"This interview in SmartMoney is causing some controversy in various circles: Mel Karmazin, CEO of Sirius Satellite Radio, said in a short interview that he’d be interested in merging his company with XM Satellite Radio, his archrival and the market leader in the hotly competitive $1.5 billion industry. 'Mergers often lead to creating shareholder value...I’ve always been open to that.' He’d floated the idea at a trade conference that he’d like to buy XM, but he predicted there would be regulatory hurdles. He no longer thinks regulators would pose a problem. 'If there’s an iPod with terrestrial radio, it’s hard to believe government is worried about two satellite radio companies combining, he said."

Charmed, i'm sure. You never know, however, with Howard Stern in the mix. More intersting, though, is how Opie and Anthony, Stern's archrivals, would survive an XM-Sirius merger in which Mel Karmazin -- a Stern loyalist -- were CEO. Under a Karmazin regime we imagine O-and-A faring not unlike Russian prisoners in Solzenitsin's Gulag Archipelago (Averted Gaze).

We'll keep you informed ...
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

-- In commemoration of the dead homies. (image via thecobrasnake)

Valentino artfully mingles with the palest party-goers so as to heighten the startling effect of his flamboyant, Vacouver sunset-colored man-tan. (image via fashionweekdaily)

They'd rather be listening to Ghostface Killa. (image via nysocialdiary)

Fisher Stevens clearly in need of a robust multivitamin, instead goes in for a slab of USDA prime beefsteak. (image via nysocialdiary)

What fools these mortals be. (image via thecobrasnake)

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

So potent are Flav's loins that If you can see this picture, you may be pregnant. (image via organic)

Friday, November 24, 2006

Note to Pelosi: Pick Harman

(image via georgetown)

The Congressional Black Causus has done well with leadership positions in the incoming Democratically-controlled House of Representatives. The Detroit Free Press describes it as "unprecedented influence." We heartily agree. Congressman Charlie Rangel, for example, takes the reins of the powerful Ways and Means Committee. Rep. James Clyburn of South Carolina will be the No. 3 leader of the House as majority whip, a position the ridiculously-ambitious Rahm Emmanuel coveted, but, uncharacteristically, backed the fuck off of to the surprise of this blogger (The Corsair sips Adega Velha Brandy).

Apparently, Emmanuel saw celestical harmony in the claustrophobic cosmos of The House and the continued good graces of the Congressional Black Causus' Heavenly Sphere as more important --more important! -- than his own black ambitions (And his deserved prize for delivering the House to the Democrat Party). And Congressman Conyers, we cannot fail to note, will Chair the mighty House Judiciary Committee. Sounds like some good prize booty for the CBC, no?

Well, no (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). In addition to these gems the CBC is fighting for the House Intelligence Committee, against the Moderate Jane Harman. The Democrats were elected into power in the House and the Senate under two mandates: One, as a counterweight to the President's "stay the course" strategy on Iraq. and, Two: To end corruption; or, in courser, punny terms, the Democratic mandate is to counteract the underage and illegal "man-date" regime of The Mark Foley Congress.

The fact that the Moderates delivered the House and Senate to the Democrats means little, the CBC wants more ... power. This power, at the risk, even, of splitting apart the Democratic coalition (Blue Dog democrats could, ostensibly, huddle with the Republicans)

According to the SantaCruzSentinel:

"Pelosi wants Florida's Alcee Hastings, backed by the Congressional Black Caucus but once convicted by Congress of lying and taking a bribe, to be chair of the House Select Intelligence Committee. Pelosi is pushing Hastings instead of ranking member Jane Harman of Southern California, who is respected by both parties, but also has run afoul of Pelosi."

Alcee Hastings, we cannot fail to note, was impeached by the very House in which he he cheekily intends to chair the sensitive Intelligence Committee (For further reference, see United States of America Versus Alcee Hastings). You'll remember that anti-corruption was one of the hallmarks of this election cycle. This is the same daffy-duck logic that caused Pelosi to back the ethically dodgy Jack Murtha over the well- respected and hugely effective Steny Hoyer (Averted Gaze). The Congressional Black Caucus has unprecedented power, and now it is time to give some payback to the Moderate Democrats, or, perhaps we might see a redux of the Steny Hoyer mess. Imagine the Blue-Dog Democrats bolting to team up with the House Republicans on culturally-conservative issues. Or, worst case, the evaporation of Speaker Pelosi's influence before she even becomes Speaker.

Note to pelosi: Pick Jane Harman.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Who cares about the looming fiscal deficit. We must gather our natural resources to forstall the impending deficit of JLo's ass. (image via justjared)

"It's a charming vintage glass of distilled 1973 juices of a Peruvian peasant boy. I find it bold ... yet unpretentious; frisky, yet unassuming." (image via nysocialdiary)

Anthony Kiedis, as always, throwing off a creepy vibe that suggests that the dead hookers are somewhere that no law enforcement officer will ever find them. (image via wireimage)
Happy Thanksgiving

Today was a hectic day with all sorts of errands. But I want to take the time to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you all for the support.

Ron Mwangaguhunga, aka, The Corsair

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Message to FoxTV

(image via logofan)

So, you had a bad week Fox TV. One's ass tends to drag when one chases ratings -- like a cheap lawyer after an ambulance -- and not good tv. Remember the fiasco of "Who Wants To Marry a Millionaire" (Bill Carter's "Desperate Networks" has the definitive rendering of that embarrasing episode in tv history)? Did you learn anything from Rick Rocker and Darva Conger? Okay, sure: "24" and "American Idol" are still months away from rejeuvinating the network. And, yes, the rating are dismal for the network right about now.

Still -- If you looked after the next "Lost" or "Battlestar Galactica," and not the most shocking outrageous ratings ... you might not be in the predicament that you are in now, Fox TV.

Frankly these programming choices of yours seem contrary to the governing philosophy at NewsCorp. Conservative virtue -- based on character and free markets and an aristocratic love of competition and achievement -- is not to be found in murderers explaining their craft with the mitigating "..If." And certainly not in "The Simple Life."

There are great scripts out there, now especially in this era of reality tv. Look after them, Fox TV. Get a reputation befitting a conservative ideology, not, as is presently the case, the go-to network for sleaze.
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Here comes the beard ... (image via wireimage)

Jim Carey at the TomKat nups, which, we cannot fail to note, is the most interesting thing he has appeared in since Liar, Liar. (image via wireimage)

He likes the rich, mellow taste of Benson & Hedges. (image via thecobrasnake)

Monday, November 20, 2006

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

What happens at the Vietnam Trade Conference stays at the Vietnam Trade Conference. (image via drudgereport)

Let's call it an Olsen sandwich, with thin slices of white sour-dough. (image via style)
Tina Fey: Paris Looks Like a Tranny Up Close

(image via theage)

Thursday on the Howard Stern Show SNL alum and 30 Rock star Tina Fey joined in. She spoke about working with Paris Hilton on that infamous show. That Paris Hilton is "difficult" is a given; that she sheds weave like a Golden Retriever, we-hell, that's sort of new. Lagniappe. Flaxen clumps of cautionary tumbleweed spreading strands of its DNA at bacterial velocity long after the after party, long after Tracy Morgan has taken off his shirt--yet again -- to make a tremendous ass of himself. Says Marksfriggin:

"She said that Paris Hilton is a piece of shit and she was so hard to work with. She said she takes herself way to seriously. She said that she looks like a Tranny up close. She also said that she would leave wads of her hair all over the place."

Charmed, we're sure.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Navratalova: Angelina's The Hottest

(image via new-dimension)

Tennis legend Martina Navratalova made a surprise visit to the Howard Stern Show yesterday, and the conversation predictably turned to the subject of hott women. According to marksfriggin:

"Howard asked Martina who the hottest chick is that she's ever seen. Angelina Jolie's name came up and Martina seems to be a big fan of hers. She likes what she does by speaking her mind and doing what she wants."

And the answer is "Correct," The Corsair printed this non-story as an excuse to run another cheesecake picture of Angelina. Sue me.
The Devil in Judith Regan

(image via politicalfriendster)

"'She'd like to get a man who's strong enough to be a guy, with all that implies, and take care of business,' says a former beau."

From: The Devil and Miss Regan, by Judith Newman, Vanity Fair

What is it about Judith Regan and her thirst for evil? Remember when she snagged the Wafah Dufour book? The she lusted after Osama Bin Laden's story? It's like Regan is on the prowl to give a book deal to the notorious evil in the universe. This fiendish began, coquettishly, with a Rush Limbaugh deal, it progressed to blasting the execrable Bernie Kerick, then there was the Jenna Jameson catfight, and has now fully metastasized into OJ, and what he -- wink, wink -- might have done had he -- wink, wink -- killed Nicole Brown.

Desist, Judy ... desist.evil
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Ancient theology has always divided the world into two warring camps: Light and Darkness, Good and Evil, Emilio and Charlie. (image via msn)

Vogue's waifish Hamish Bowles, clearly in need of a robust multivitamin. (image via style)

Andre Leon Talley, Anna's favorite, luxuriating in a coat of former Conde Nast staffers who weighed more than 120 lbs. (image via style)
Falco New CEO of AOL

(image via washpo)

In a nod to the increasingly lucrative online advertising game, AOL picked NBC Universal Television's number two executive, Randy Falco (And, by the way, you can advertise on The Corsair blog here). Interestingly, this occurs at a time when NBC Universal under the diverting "NBC 2.0" banner is cutting jobs and hundreds of millions of dollars from the television division's budget. According to the Washpo:

"AOL chairman and chief executive Jonathan F. Miller will be replaced by Randy Falco, a top NBC Universal executive, in a surprise high-level shake-up announced last evening by AOL parent Time Warner Inc.

"Falco is president of the NBC Universal television group and has worked at NBC since 1975.

"'A key to Time Warner's digital future, AOL is showing early success in transitioning to an advertising-focused business model, and Randy is a first-rate choice to ensure AOL realizes its promise,' said Time Warner Chairman Richard D. Parsons. 'We thank Jon Miller for his four years of farsighted leadership during a difficult time at AOL. We wish him well as he moves into the next phase of his career.'"


Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Jacko's Going to Be On Stage with 30 Children

(image via people)

We all know that Europe is more liberal -- or, at the very least, less uptight -- than America. Ancient culture to newbie. They would call it more more "sophisticated." Extramartital affairs are par for the course; President Mitterand's mistress attended his funeral as an official guest. That sort of thing. Natalie Portman as an erotic foil for Jean Reno in in The Professional? Que sera, sera. But this, according to the 3AMGirls, takes the cake:

"BIG spender Michael Jackson's backstage demands for tonight's World Music Awards have gone through the roof - and a wall.

"We can reveal that Wacko Jacko has cost organisers an incredible £250,000 with requests including hair and make-up, a private jet and 20 first-class and business-class plane tickets for his entourage.

"Plus hiring out an entire five-star hotel for £50,000 a night - and they had to knock down a wall for him too.

"Jacko is headlining the extravaganza at London's Earls Court tonight.

"Our moonwalking mole us: 'He's got one of the most expensive riders in history.

"'Loads of other hotels, including the Mandarin Oriental, turned him down because they were worried about being besieged by fans.

"'They were also nervous about his demands.'

"... But we hear the diva star has had a wall knocked down between two suites so he can turn his accommodation into a giant playroom for his kids. We're told: 'Yes, it's eccentric but he wants to create a homely environment for them.

"'He's going to be on stage with about 30 children.'"

Did Jacko's tour rider specify that the children must be wearing pasties and Boba Fett underoos soas better to eye-rape them? Hmm?
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Far too late to alter the outcome Billy Joel discovers that atop his piano there is actually water, and not beefeater Gin, in his drinking glass. (image via wireimage)

See, you think he's just a buffoon; but what if Flavor Flav was, like this intense character actor from the University of Bologna that got lost in the role. His 7 children? Demonstrations of his commitment to the character. (image via wireimage)

A mind is a terrible thing to baste. (image via thecobrasnake)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Vice President James Baker?

(image via timeinc)

Come on: You Know He Wants It. Isn't this how logically The Bush Operetta ends? The Darth Vaderish Cheney feigns a mechanical heart malfunction and James Baker swoops in like the ambitious vampire he is and takes over the Vice Presidency. Condi can rest soundly. Baker has already served as SecState. It would be anticlimatic to redo that office, especially after he presided over the dismantling of the Soviet Empire and the Apartheid regime (The Corsair pours himself a glass of Napoleonic Armagnac). The cherry-on-the-top of career as a non-elected "Statesman" is The Veep position. After Al Gore radically altered the nature of the Vice Presidency, from the guy who attends funerals of dead-heads-of-State to a real player capable of statesmanlike activity, it had James Addison Baker's name all over it. No one covets being the Platonic Eidos of The Statesman more than Baker, the Velvet Hammer.

And he's already bested the greatest Beurocratic infighter since Lucius Aelius Sejanus, namely: Rummy. After crippling Cheney by taking out his uncolorful henchman, Next, mark The Corsair's words, is Cheney.

James Addison Baker was born to be the Vice President.
Separated at Birth


Jesus Juice sipping, Michael Jackson. (image vai people)

Champagne glass strioppin, Dita Von teese. (image via radaronline)
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...


The He-Man Sumner Haters Club will presently come to order. (image via style)

Marie Josee Kravis and Henry Kissinger debate their favorite recipes for roast South American peasant. (image via nysocialdiary)


The Sir Edmund Hillary of Social Mountaineers Graydon Carter rests, contentedlly, atop Mount Anna Scott. (image via style)
Tom Ford's Hearts Penis

Tom Ford, sucking on a fembot. (image via trendencias)

Wasn't Tom Ford supposed to, like, radically alter the landscape of Hollywood? Why then are we still arguing over Tom Ford his latest luxury business concoctions? Didn't we say goodbye to Tom Ford on the Rive Gauche catwalk? Shouldn't Tom Ford be making his very own Blue Velvet instead of languishing over the man-spicy musk that is Black Orchid?

And yet, here we are, you and I -- debating another Tom Ford creation that's not on the silver screen. This time it's his shitty little stinker of a scent (The Corsair lights a Macanudo Prince Philip Jade), which, according to those intrepid Page Sixxies, smells like wenis:

"THAT Tom Ford specifically asked executives at Estée Lauder to have his new Black Orchid fragrance smell 'like a man's crotch.'"

To each his own. We prefer Honore de Balzac, he just likes Balls Sac. -- Which (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) might explain this: According to NewYorkMag:

"Tom Ford may have just launched an expensive perfume called Black Orchid, but he’s really a fan of B.O. 'I don’t wear deodorant,' he said at the fragrance’s Top of the Rock launch party. 'I don’t! I actually love the way that human beings smell. And I love the way my dog’s ears smell. My smell is a little sweat, a little dog.' As clouds of Black Orchid were pumped into the crowd, he continued, 'I think a lot of us have gotten so weird about it, especially Americans. Americans love to, like, wash away all trace of human smell. I like human smell. It’s what makes us attracted to each other.'"

You ... (Averted Gaze) do your thing Tom Ford, you ... Do Your Thing.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Blunt Cheats on Nemcova

(image via newsoftheworld)

Superhott Petra Nemcova may want to rethink that whole Is-She-Dating-Russell-Simmons-thingie. Then again, maybe not (It is anemic-looking Russell Simmons --eew). The Bitch-like James Blunt ("You're Beautifuuulll") allegedly cheated on the fetching supermodel with a British student, according to that extremely downmarket Newsoftheworld:

"POSH pop star James Blunt cheated on his supermodel girlfriend when he took a sexy student nurse Back to Bed.

"Just weeks after the upper crust chart-topper announced he's a one woman man we can reveal he had a highland fling with Jenna MacDonald after a concert.

"Three days earlier, Czech beauty Petra Nemcova had watched from the wings as he performed songs from his Back To Bedlam album in London.

"But he was soon saying Goodbye My Lover to Petra and You're Beautiful to 21-year-old Jenna.

"Now she says: 'He's a rat and people need to know the truth about him.'"

The alleged "truth" involves -- and we're paraphrasing -- pulling her onto his lap, hasty sex, lies about not dating Nemcova, plain white underwear (Averted Gaze). Afterwards, the post-coital afterglow went sour:

"Jenna said: 'I knew it was only a one-time thing – I didn't expect anything of him. In fact I was really surprised when he called.

"'The conversation was a bit awkward. I was embarrassed and didn't say much. He told me he was glad to have met me.

"'But I was angry when he was interviewed a few weeks ago saying he was a one woman man – because he cheated on her with me.'"

Petra ... call me?
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ..

The disturbingly fertile Flavor Flav, or, as we like to call him, the Ghost of K-Fed future. (image via wireimage)

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo: When they lean their empty little heads together juts so -- you can hear the sound of the ocean. (image via wireimage)

James Woods takes a break from scoping the local talent at Hollywood High cheerleading practice. (image via wireimage)

Sharon Stone likes her men like she likes her clothing ... (image via wireimage)
Bush Family: The Cats in the Cradle and the Silver Foot

(image via uspatriotsinc)

Is it just The Corsair or does the Bush Family Narrative (tm) currently unravelling upon the world stage resemble, however slightly, that buttery, pseudo-existentialist Harry Chapin song "The Cat's In The Cradle"? The one where the saucer-eyed son sang, optimistically, "I'm gonna be like you dad/ You know I'm gonna be like you."

Such are the generational battles of politics where, like Shakespeare's Histories (And Maureen's Dowdian tragi-comedies), sons follow fathers, some hot-blooded, and some of a milder, sweeter disposition (The Corsair pours himself a 2001 Alyssa Golden Dry Port).

James Baker, Il Consigliere, courtier of the First Magnitude, is particularly Shakespearean as a stinking little fixer. He just doesn't ever evaporate, now does he? Shuttling betweeen Bush the Elder to reagan to bush the Elder, and now, as if by magic, back to Bush the Younger ("And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon .."). Seeing The Vulcans (tm), though, boozy over their hot-blooded Rummy punch, we almost welcome his polished Machiavellianism. Somewhere, Hans Morgenthau's deteriorating corpse is smiling in a skeletal ricktor at The Revenge of the Realists.

What a surprise when Bush the Younger won the Presidency, immediately following The Clinton's -- Hatfield's to the Bushes McCoys -- resurrecting, at least, the Bush Family honor ("Well, he came home from college just the other day/ So much like a man I just had to say"). Bush the Younger's hot-blooded pursuit of Ending Tyrannies, aided by Dick Cheney, he of the mechanical heart, was diametrically opposed to Bush the Elder's wise, measured multilateral foreign policy ("I said, 'I'd like to see you if you don't mind'/He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time")

The Pendulum swings. The Midterm elections. Hot buttery Rum is shown the door and Il Consigliere, James Baker, oily courtier of Two Presidents returnes to power. Baker once remarked that you know you're out of power when your limosine is yellow -- not black -- and your driver speaks Farsi. Charmed, i'm sure (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Enter: Gates.

It looks like the Bush 43 Presidency has morphed into Bush 41 ("And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me /He'd grown up just like me/ My boy was just like me."

And the Cat's in the Cradle and the Silver Foot.