Saturday, September 29, 2007

Newt Won't Run

We're not Newt fans, to be sure, but he has a surprisingly interesting 1971 doctoral dissertation from Tulane on the subject of the disgusting Belgian colonial rule in the Congo that is ... quite accurate. His politics, however, as a leader, sucked. if only he maintained his collegiate ideals. Anyway: he's out. From Politico:

"Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.) decided Saturday morning not to run for president just as his staff was preparing to launch a website to seek $30 million in pledges, his spokesman told Politico.

"Gingrich had planned to seek pledges as part of a three-week exploration without making any formal declaration of candidacy for the Republican nomination — an approach that several Republican leaders said was legally questionable."
That Glorious Bill Richardson

No one, baby -- not even Al Gore -- is better qualified to become the President of the United States of America than the glorious Bill Richardson, former Ambassador to the United Nations, former Congressman, former Energy Secretary, and present Governor of the great state of New Mexico -- a purple state, by the way. Dictators fear and respect Richardson. Bill Richardson, for lack of a better word, is the shit.

Unfortunately, his campaign has not caught fire in the heartland. One of the problems is that Richardson, a very aggressive-charismatic man, has toned down his rhetoric after considerable media scrutiny in March. That brutal assessment by The Establishment has, in effect, handicapped him in this race; Richardson, trying to tone-down his Life Force -- he is the world record holder in political handshakes -- now seems lethargic in debates.

If only Richardson gas up in the last quarter and show us his "rib busting political ox-strength.".

Still, Richardson is in the Veep scrum. According to our favorite Dickensian villain Robert Novak:

"NEW Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, a Mexican-American who could pin down the Latino vote, is back as a leading vice-presidential prospect if Sen. Hillary Clinton wins the Democratic presidential nomination next year.

"Richardson's poor early showing as a presidential candidate, particularly in debates, had turned off speculation about him for second place on the ticket. But his clever TV ads have pushed him to the top of the second tier of Democratic presidential candidates and back into the vice-presidential swim."

Richardson is not entirely out of contention for the Presidency. The Corsair would love to see Richardson -- a popular Centrist, pro-gun, anti-war Southwestern Latino Governor -- roll up his sleeves and open up a can of intellectual whip-ass on these upstarts in the debates. Really bitch-smack them up on how the world works, Bill.

Bill Richardson is a Corsair kind of candidate. If Al Gore bitches out -- and he probably will opt for making the millions and cruising for a Nobel -- Bill Richardson is our man.

Fer realsies.
October 2007 Vogue L'Uomo

(image via fashionweekdaily)

October 2007 cover of L’Uomo Vogue, photographed by Bruce Weber. Freak.
Media-Whore D'Oevres

(image via imdb)

" ICE-T, after performing at The Plumm, bringing his beautiful wife CoCo onstage, smacking her shapely rear end, and asking the crowd: 'Isn't that some bootie?'"

"Supporters from outside his staff are urging Giuliani to discontinue the stunt of interrupting a campaign speech by taking a cell phone call from his wife. Although this received national attention only recently when Giuliani did it while addressing the National Rifle Association on Sept. 21, it has been part of his political bag of tricks all year." (Novak)

"P Diddy was a real bad boy at a top New York club. 'He walked right up to the door girl. When she asked him how many people he was with, Diddy just called her a 'f***ing b****', opened the velvet rope and let himself through,' says a witness." (3AMGirls)
"Mind Blowing Sex" Kept Kate and Pete Together

No surprise that "chemistry" is cited as the major reason that Kate and Pete stayed together all that time. We'd go so far as to cite "Medeival Alchemy (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)" was .. somehow involved.

Now, the Kate camp refers to him -- wittily -- as "the slug." That kind of volatility is usually based on a good transitory sex chemistry. And that almost never lasts more than six months. From the 3AMGirls:

"Wanna know why Kate Moss and Pete Doherty kept getting back together? Mind-blowing sex...

"So says Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan, who has spilled the beans on the couple's on-off affair.

"Shane, 49, told us at the Berkeley Square Ball in London's Mayfair: 'They were perfect for each other. Totally nuts about each other.

"'They were one of those couples that would argue loads but when they got back together they would have mind-blowing sex.' Shane, who is rumoured to have offered Pete a place to stay when he comes out of rehab, went on: 'They had this great chemistry and that's something they'll miss.

"'When I saw Kate last week she said she was sad about the way things had turned out.

"'She would have done anything for Pete, but he wouldn't change.'"

Friday, September 28, 2007

Bill Clinton: I Had More Experience Than Obama When I Ran

(image via sistahtoldja)

Bill Clinton was induced to talk smack against Barack Obama, but, in his defense, Establishment journalist Al Hunt put him in an impossible situation. Hunt -- on this weekend's "Political Capital" -- read a passage from Hillary Clinton's autobiography describing hos inexperienced he was perceived in the 1992 election against George Bush, 41. Hunt then compared the passage to some of the attacks against hillary's closest competitor Senator Barack Obama. From Bloomberg:

"Former President Bill Clinton said he was far more experienced when he made his successful 1992 White House run than Senator Barack Obama is today.

'''There is a difference,' Clinton said in an interview with Bloomberg Television's 'Political Capital With Al Hunt' that will air this weekend. 'I was the senior governor in America. I had been head of any number of national organizations that were related to the major issue of the day, which is how to restore America's economic strength.'

''Clinton was 46 in 1992 when he beat Republican President George H.W. Bush to win the highest U.S. office, the same age that Obama is now."

Kudos to Al Hunt on the publicity.
Media-Whore's D'Oevres

(image via nymag)

"Michelle Rodriguez has failed to fulfill the terms of her probation and may face jail time, the Los Angeles City Attorney's office announced Friday. 'She hasn't shown proof of enrollment to complete 30 days of community service,' said City Attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan. 'She could face jail time, but it's up to the judge.' A hearing for the matter is set for Friday." (People)

"You wouldn't think they'd have much in common - but when junkie rocker Pete Doherty met pop legend Sir Paul McCartney they got on like a house on fire. 'Pete promised Paul he was serious about getting clean, was through with the drugs, and said he never wanted to fall back into his dark days again. They spoke about everything from music, other singers and even touched on the subject of women - but that was strictly between the two of them." (3AMGirls)

"In a letter prepared Friday by Senate leaders, Democrats continued to blast conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh’s description of antiwar troops as 'phony soldiers,' setting up a parallel to Republican outrage over’s recent Iraq ad. During his Wednesday broadcast, Limbaugh responded to a caller who identified himself as an active-duty member of the Army and said troops who criticize the war are not 'real soldiers.”'Limbaugh responded in agreement, rousing Democrats’ ire." (TheHill)

"17 Prince St-- Mary Kate Olsen at Cafe Habana. (That Weeds show must be giving her the munchies.) With an assistant-y looking blond who translated Mary Kate's to-go order to a Dominican waitress in a obscenely tight black unitard. Mary Kate's sported greasy, mussy hair and a red poncho mini dress." (Gawker Stalker)

"(Halle Berry's) boyfriend, model Gabriel Aubry, owns a restaurant near their New York home. He said: 'She craves pickles and any bread, as long as it's salty.' He also said: 'She loves foot massages. I do all of that stuff.'" (3AMGirls)

"Whit Ayres is a pollster and consultant who worked in Lamar Alexander’s 1996 presidential campaign and in numerous Senate and governors’ races. He is an expert on Southern politics. 'This is a completely wide-open race, and any of three or four or five candidates can actually win,' Ayres says. 'The insiders’ front-runner is Mitt Romney; the national front-runner is Rudy Giuliani; John McCain needs to continue clawing his way back and get some money; Thompson needs to justify his high-flying numbers; and Mike Huckabee needs millions of dollars in the bank.'" (Politico)
Tom Cruise is Totally Batshit

We have made ouselves a study of Tom Cruise's career. We felt that Cruise's career was going in a good direction when he started to veer "urban." Until that moment, Cruise, we thought, was excessively wonderbread. Entirely without flavor. And creepily intense, like Pacino -- but entirely without the self-depracating sense of humor about himself.

But Cruise expanded his fan base when he started going urban. There were reports of Tom visiting parties with Jamie Foxx. Not Hollywood parties, we might add.

There were rumors of him hanging out after-hours, taking cell phone pics with fans, eating birthday cake and dancing at private parties with regular people. The Corsair liked that. It offeset that adolescent notion that he consciously projected as being the Ayn Randian superhero, immortal, risk-taking, unflappable, incapable of error.

And then he "fell in love (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)." Quickly. Too quickly, some might say, to be believed (Averted Gaze). Katie did look kind of boyish, too. And then Tom overreacted when trying to explain his alleged love on Oprah.

Then Tom had an incredibly beautiful Asian baby -- did he somehow forsee the magical effects of a genetic mingling with Katie Holmes -- and all was forgiven. Who among us doesn't like magical Asian babies?

But now he's acting really, really crazy. He's really creeping us the fuck out. First there was that German fart thing -- is he really looking over the video tapes to punish the gas-passer? Now, this; from thisisLondon:

"Hollywood star Tom Cruise is planning to build a bunker at his Colorado home to protect his family in the event of an intergalactic alien attack, according to new reports.

"The Mission Impossible actor, who is a dedicated follower of Scientology, is reportedly fearful that deposed galactic ruler 'Xenu' is plotting an evil revenge attack on Earth."

You don't really need to hear more than that do you to properly diagnose a case of batshit insane?
Corsair Classic

One of my faves:

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Media-Whore D'Oevres (Special: Celebrity Dish)

(image via fashionweekdaily)

"Winona Ryder and Marisa Tomei added some star wattage to an otherwise mundane front row this week with their appearance at the Alberta Ferretti show. Entering the giant space at Via Senato where a clear tent had been erected, the actresses dramatically emerged from backstage behind Anna Wintour and André Leon Talley, surrounded by security, and quickly took their seats alongside Candy Pratts Price and Hamish Bowles."

"Armed bandits raided Francis Ford Coppola's Argentine headquarters and stole a computer with the screenplay for the upcoming feature film "Tetro," according to local news media. The director of 'The Godfather' apparently was not in Buenos Aires at the time of the robbery Wednesday night. A federal police spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to give his name, confirmed that a robbery had occurred and a judge was investigating, but he said he could not give details." (Huffingtonpost)

"US director legend Francis Ford Coppola returns from a decade-long directing hiatus with 'Youth Without Youth,' to be premiered next month at the second annual Rome film festival. Based on a novella by Romanian author Mircea Eliade and shot in Bucharest, 'Youth Without Youth' is an "important film that will generate a lot of discussion,' organiser Piera DeTassis said on Thursday as this year's lineup was unveiled. She described the film as Coppola's 'third renaissance' following 'Apocalypse Now' and 'The Godfather.'" (AFP)

"Hollywood star Tom Cruise was left furious after a crew member on his latest film set passed wind during a minute's silence.The actor - who is shooting World War II drama Valkyrie in Berlin - had paused filming to honour the anti-Nazi heroes portrayed in the movie when one employee decided to break wind during the tribute ... The silence was filmed and now Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired." (Stuff)

"Pouring, pouring rain deluged Milan overnight and continued straight through the Alberta Ferretti show and dinner. At Gucci's show at Piazza Oberdan, traffic came to a standstill for miles in every direction as editors, refusing to get out until they needed to for fear of ruining their shoes and hairdos, clogged up the near-flooded streets and the blaring of police sirens and whistles was never-ending ... An hour after the show was scheduled to start, Vanity Fair's Elizabeth Saltzman appeared to have been one of the victims of the city's horrendous rain-meets-rush hour fiasco. She scampered down to an available second row seat after a handful of looks had already passed." (Fashionweekdaily)

"New York ran into Chloë Sevigny at Public last night, at the party for Sebaka Wines. We were like, 'Chloë, how arrrrre you.' Then we went ahead and asked her how she feels about all the people who have been making fun of the fashion line she recently debuted at Opening Ceremony. Her reaction was totally hippie meets hip-hop, a little bit like the look she is rocking on the left. 'There will always be haters,' she said. 'I'm just living my life.'"(NYMag)

"Michael Jackson, the man who moved to Dubai to dodge the paparazzi, is making up for lost time in front of the cameras. L'Uomo Vogue's October issue, due out next week, will feature a 20-page spread on the musician, shot by Bruce Weber, to coincide with the 25th anniversary of Jackson's smash album 'Thriller.' 'It's magnificent,' editorial director Franca Sozzani boasted Tuesday at the Milan shows. 'He hasn't allowed himself to be photographed for 16 years!'" (WWD)

"In Hollywood, where and how you spend your leisure time says as much about you as your nanny cam or IMDB Web page. Indeed, most bizzers—having just returned from summer jaunts to Lake Como or the Fiji Islands (that is, if they managed to escape the work deluge caused by the possibility of a writers' strike next year)—are already contemplating where they'll head during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, when the entire industry, in an act of unspoken complicity, agrees to flee ... Things were not always so cushy. Peter Guber, producer and former chairman and chief executive of Sony Pictures, says when he started in the business in the 1970s, 'if somebody took an extra two days off, or a week off, they were looked at askance.' Now, Guber says, 'I find people leaving in October for Christmas vacation.'"(LATimes)
Media-Whore D'Oevres (Special: UN-Clinton Initiative Edition)

(image via ens-newswire)

"US businesses have pledged to spend more than four billion dollars on environmental, educational and humanitarian projects a New York summit organized by former president Bill Clinton. By Thursday, the second day of a three-day summit, several firms had stepped forward with pledges at the Clinton Global Initiative on a variety of pressing issues ranging from refugee aid to education to climate change efforts." (AFP)

"Despite the $15,000 'membership,' participants who don't follow through on their commitments are barred from coming back the following year. Last year, 17 former attendees were not allowed back from the previous year, and this year the number dropped to five. As a Clinton press secretary put it, 'We're not the philanthropy police.' But they do want to impress upon people that the idea is not to schmooze, it's to work ... The roster of delegates, as you would expect, is impressive. This morning's opening session saw Hamid Karzai, president of Afghanistan; H. Lee Scott, CEO of Wal-Mart; Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa and Philippines President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo -- whom Clinton introduced as a former classmate of his at Georgetown -- onstage with former Vice President and Oscar winner Al Gore and Robert Zoellick, president of the World Bank. Thursday morning's plenary session will be led by former British Prime Minister Tony Blair." (Forbes)

"Southeast Asian foreign ministers were to meet here Thursday under pressure to join the Security Council in urging Myanmar rulers to allow a visit by a UN envoy to defuse world anger over a bloody crackdown on pro-democracy protests.The 15-member council met in emergency session here Wednesday but failed to condemn the brutal repression in Yangon." (AFP)

"The ruling junta could continue to remain relatively quiet, allowing the monks to persist with their protests in the hope that the marches will peter out over the coming weeks, although there are signs that the government's patience is wearing thin (notably the police crackdown on protestors at Shwedagon Pagoda). Nevertheless, although the protests are likely to continue over the short term, possibly intensifying in the next few days, they are unlikely, at this stage, to seriously weaken the ruling junta's firm grip on power." (Janes Defense)

"Kazakhstan’s Nursultan Nazarbayev and Turkmenistan’s Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov did not make waves when their turn at the podium came at the 62nd United Nations General Assembly. The same cannot be said about Georgia’s Mikheil Saakashvili ... 'One has to wonder - what was a lieutenant colonel of the Russian military doing in the Georgian forests, organizing and leading a group of armed insurgents on a mission of terror?' Saakashvili continued. 'I want to ask our Russian friends - is there not enough territory in Russia? Are there not enough forests in Russia for Russian officers not to die in Georgian territory in Georgian forests?'" (Eurasianet)

"United States President George Bush lacks moral authority to judge other nations, Cuban Foreign Minister Felipe Perez Roque said at the United Nations General Assembly meeting on Wednesday, attacking the US leader as an arrogant liar. Perez Roque was responding to Bush's UN speech on Tuesday, when the US president called for 'free speech, free assembly and ultimately free and competitive elections' in Cuba. 'The long rule of a cruel dictator is nearing its end,' said Bush, referring to ailing Cuban President Fidel Castro." (IOL)
Biden: Giuliani is "The Most Uninformed Person on American Foreign Policy Now Running for President."

"Uninformed" is kind; we would have gone in for the more citric sobriquet "stupid." Senator Biden is just saying what every heavyweight political thinker on the subject of foreign policy knows. Giuliani is a bad fucking joke, intellectually speaking. He's a fine thug -- we'll give him that -- and we are sure he is a "cousin-lover" par excellence (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment); but he is not a man capable of thinking deep geopolitical thoughts. Therefore, in this post-9/11 era -- an era he never fails to keep reminding us of -- he is not qualified to be President.

Giuliani's "essay (Averted Gaze)" in the September/ October 2007 issue of Foreign Affairs magazine, entitled, "Towards a Realistic Peace" could have been written -- better -- by an undergraduate. It contains such trite political proclamations as, "The first step toward a realistic peace is to be realistic about our enemies." And, even more breathtakingly asinine, "The lesson is never talk for the sake of talking and never accept a bad deal for the sake of making a deal." The essay would better have been entitled, "Towards a Bensonhurst Peace (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)," or, -- in The Corsair's best Brando accent, "I'm Gunna Make Em an Offuh Dey Can't Refuse."

"America's Mayor" is hard-headed and ham-fisted. Electing "Giulianus Maximus" would be like electing Bush, a "gut" person, as opposed to a Thinker, which is what we need to fight the long war that has been bungled by Rumsfeld and muddied by the quagmire that Persia and the Shiites have been presenting us in Iraq. Can you really envision a short-fingered vulgarian like Giuliani solving those issues? Clearly not. Rudy is a nice kid; but he's a strictly ham-and-egg politician with one trick issue: law and order. He should get the fuck out of the gladiatorial fundament and leave the heavy lifting to the intellectual cosmonauts. Really, he should. From the LATimes:

"Although Giuliani joked that he was a 'key figure in the debate, and I was very pleased to see that,' he did not address Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr.'s criticism that Giuliani was 'the most uninformed person on American foreign policy now running for president.'"

Biden, by the way, co-author of the brilliant tripartite division plan for Iraq, ought to be on everyone's short list for Secretary of State.
Armstrong Williams Throws Clarence Thomas A Book Party

(image via britannica)

Steve Kroft will be at the swishy Clarence Thomas book soiree in DC next week (Then again, he is doing a piece on him for "60 Minutes," so it officially counts as work.) So will Will Smith, and Charles "Pumpkinheaded" Barkley. AS will Barbara Walters -- wo, we cannot fail to note, likes her men like she likes her coffee (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) -- so that could count as her (sotto voce) "auditioning the local talent."

Not that The Corsair is a fan of Affirmative Action (which ought to have had a time-limit of 40 years), but it takes some astonishing moxie to benefit from the social program in one's own life and then, after achieving power and parity, argue against it (Averted Gaze). Welcome to the surrealist universe of Clarence Thomas, whose confirmation hearings were so toxic, that he and his wife have lived a rather sequestered life, hanging around conservatives and not getting out much. Apparently, though, the bigoted fat-head Rush Limbaugh is a pal (Averted Gaze), as he has been known to describe Clarence Thomas' most endearing character trait as his laugh.

That's a real pal you've got there, Clarence, baby, let me tell you; a real equal.

Enter: Armstrong Williams, disgraced former journalist. An African-American conservative journalist. Notes from Clarence Thomas' cloistered life (via TheHill):

"Most Washington parties can be crashed with simple name-dropping or the flash of a powerful business card. Next week’s book party for Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, however, is off-limits to intruders.

"If you don’t have an invite, don’t come," said Armstrong Williams, who will host the party at his Northeast D.C. home. "And don’t bring guests who aren’t on the list."

"In what surely will come as a shock to some who saddle up to the bar next Wednesday, the party is alcohol-free. Not so shocking for Williams and Thomas — neither drinks.

"Dissecting a D.C. party such as this one is a complicated affair. Plans must be made. Buzz must be created. Above all, an air of exclusivity must be close at hand.

"Williams’s guest list includes jaw-dropping names, even by Washington standards. Thomas’s colleagues on the high court will be there, mingling with Hollywood celebrities, media superstars and powerful members of Congress."
Media-Whore D'Oevres

(image via jossip)

"Which aging boy bander has proposed to his NYC waitress girlfriend several times already, and they've known each other 10 days? She keeps saying no." (Gatecrasher)

"According to preliminary Nielsen nationals for Wednesday night, 'Bionic Woman' averaged a hearty 5.5 rating/14 share in adults 18-49 and 13.6 million viewers overall -- NBC's highest-rated Wednesday series premiere in 18-49 since 'The West Wing' in 1999. It's also the net's highest-rated regularly scheduled program in Wednesday's 9 o'clock hour since an October 2003 seg of "Wing.'" (Variety)
Is India Really The world's Largest Democracy?

Outsourcing notwithstanding, the United States of America and India roll tight on the bilateral tizzle (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Fer realsies. And, yes, India is -- officially and politically -- the world's largest democracy. A part of The President's South Asia strategy to contain China -- and, with less emphasis, reduce greenhouse gas emissions -- is to share civil nuclear technology with India. But news such as the following makes us wonder deeply how "democratic" India truly is. From Thisislondon:

"Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty has been arrested in India over her infamous clinch with Richard Gere, after airport officials said she was still wanted in connection with obscenity charges.

"The Celebrity Big Brother winner was released only after prolonged questioning after being stopped at Mumbai Airport, according to reports, on her way to the opening of the Miss Bollywood musical in Berlin.

"Shetty was held at Mumbai Airport by immigration officials who had no record of a Supreme Court ruling which overturned a ban on her leaving the country.

"And said she was still wanted for obscenity charges over the kiss."

You already know what The Cosair thinks about Richard Gere.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Hugh Grant's "Special Friends"

(image via dailymail)

Although the legendary British jinx Hugh Grant -- how long since he's had a commercial success? -- and former paramour of "Divine Brown" is rumored to be on-again with muscular heiress Jemima "It Puts the Lotion on It's Skin" Khan, that didn't stop him from visiting the appropriately named "Boujis," with, to be sure, some special friends (Averted Gaze). From Daily Mail:

"Hugh Grant picked the wrong venue for a discreet night out with three girls.

"The actor arrived with his party at club-of-the-moment Boujis just after 2.30am this morning - only to dash back to his cab when he saw he had been spotted by the paparazzi."
Brad Pitt Pledges $10 Million to Rebuild New Orleans

(image via justjared)

We rather like Brad Pitt. He could have been just another pretty boy, but he is becoming -- along with Angelina Jolie -- a sort of roving ambassador who just happens to act. He could have bolted with gusto when Jolie brought in the umpteenth adopted baby, few would have blamed him. We are also among the few who had the attention span to appreciate the nuance he brought to the character of Jesse James. And now this. From Huffingtonpost:

"Hello from the Clinton Global Initiative! Hollywood film star Brad Pitt just pledged $10 million toward rebuilding the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans at the Clinton Global Initiative on Wednesday afternoon.

"'We're prepared to break ground by the end of the year, but we need your help,' the actor said of his commitment to helping rebuild the New Orleans area hardest hit by Hurricane Katrina. 'We will match dollar for dollar any and every single contribution up to $10 million.'"
Return to Kim Richards

(image via librarising)

Remember Kim Richards? She was the child star of "Escape to Witch Mountain" that every boy had a crush on in the 1970s. She is also vaguely related to Paris Hilton. From Cinematical:

"Poor Kim Richards. The former child star wasn't in too many films, but already one of them has been remade (Assault on Precinct 13, in which she briefly appears before memorably being gunned down) and another is on its way to the recycle bin. It's her best remembered, too: Escape to Witch Mountain."
Christian Slater and Tamara Mellon

(image via z.about)

Do you remember when Christian Slater was annoying child actor who aped Jack Nicholsen's every move? Everyone thought it was cute, but you thought it was fucking stupid? Yeah. He's grown up. Somewhat. But the likeness to Jack lingers. From the 3AM Girls:

"Christian Slater is a real shark when it comes to the British ladies.

"The Hollywood hunk - who's currently in the UK preparing for his West End theatre role in Swimming With Sharks - was spotted playing tonsil tennis with stunning Jimmy Choo founder, Tamara Mellon, at a swish Japanese restaurant in London's Mayfair.

"A fellow diner at Sumosan tells us: 'They looked totally smitten.'"
Media-Whore D'Oevres

"Karrine Steffans may be richer now, but she hasn't lost her appetite for famous men. In her memoir, 'Confessions of a Video Vixen,' the woman known as 'Superhead' wrote about the drugs and self-hatred that drove her into cheap romps with Usher, Diddy, Vin Diesel, Shaquille O'Neal and Ja Rule, among others ... Mike Tyson, she writes, 'is a biter. His passion manifested through pain as ... I endured the extreme force of his 200-pound frame colliding into mine, he kissed, sucked and bit me overzealously." (RushandMolloy)

"During a visit to 'The Martha Stewart Show,' Bill Clinton joked that he will do "whatever she wants me to do" if his wife, Hillary, is elected U.S. president ... Clinton noted it isn't legal for a president to appoint a member of his or her family to the cabinet, so he couldn't do 'any line job.'" (UPI)

"This coming Sunday, Bill Clinton is slated to do 'Meet the Press' and 'This Week,' a source says." (Politico)

"Sen. Richard Lugar (Ind.), the senior Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, said in an interview that he will vote for a resolution sponsored by Senate Foreign Relations Chairman Joe Biden (D-Del.) that would call for Iraq’s ethnic groups to be partitioned into a federated state." (TheHill)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Are You As Uneasy About The Bush-Clinton Dynasties As Am I?

It looks as if Hillary Rodham Clinton will be the next Democratic nominee for the United States Presidency in 2008 and, to be sure, you can never quite discount the morbid possibility of good old "Jebby" rounding out the bottom-half of the Republican ticket or -- even sweller -- warming up in the bullpen for a brisk run in 2012.

The dynastic politics of the Bush-Clinton families are distinctly un-American constructs that drive The Corsair to distraction. Bush, 43, clearly went after the Presidency to avenge his father's loss -- not unlike the astonishingly dark Andrew Cuomo's thumo-eideutic questings after the Governorship of the Empire State -- but the whole "family revenge drama" is a thoroughly European narrative, even, dare we say it, an "Old" European model (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

It has -- and should have -- no fucking place in the clear, logical, crisp-and-clear cosmos of American politics, which was born of the Enlightenment.

Is The Corsair the only "pundit" frankly uneasy at the fact that should Hillary "The Inevitable" Clinton achieve the Presidency -- for two terms, let's assume -- that this country will have been locked inside the dynastic ambitions of these two families for 28 god-damn years. This runs counter to American governmental philosophy, designed specifically inefficient so as to frustrate European-monarchical lusts for centralized power. It is thoroghly American to be paranoid of those who hold power -- especially those who appear to believe that they own positions of power.

Remember how ENRAGED Republicans were that Bill Clinton fairly won an ornery three-way-dance in which H.Ross Perot siphoned off Reagan Democrats, returning the White House to the Democrats after 12 years in the wilderness. Republicans, after 12 years of Reagan-Bush 41, began to believe that they has paid the mortgage for the White House (Averted Gaze). And they never forgave Clinton for foreclosing. Those snippy adjectives attached to Clinton's first term from the Republican Commentering Class -- those who can't do -- always contained bitchish hints of "rash," or, "collegiate," or -- worst of them all -- "not quite Presidential."

They all but called Bill Clinton trailer trash.

What joy they must have felt in inflating a blow job -- no pun intended -- to the level of page A1 above-the-fold. That unattractive bitchiness amng the harridan right was borne out of a black belief that the White House belonged to the GOP. Why else would they talk of post-Clinton "fumigation."

Fucking bitches.

And now the Clinton's have drunk from that same jug of wine. Intoxicating power. These two families -- drunk with arrogance -- act, without any mitigating humility, without any sense of moderation, as if they own the Oval Office and we need them to save us from ourselves.

And The Corsair thoroughly isn't feeling it.

Fer realsies.
Leonardo DiCaprio Is Not An Ass

(image via boxofficemojo)

Leonardo DiCaprio is not an ass (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Although sometimes he can come off as vaguely ass-ish (The Corsair pops a bottle of 1787 Chateau d'Yquem).

When not blasting thoroughly yummy Israeli models (Rowr), and making socially important documentaries on the planet's ecological condition, Leo -- and we feel we can call him that -- likes to threaten unruly ruffians with a little ass kicking.

Of course, that's only if his "Pussy Posse" is there to back him up.

From our favorite superhero gossip duo Rush and Molloy:

"Leonardo DiCaprio had the back of club promoter Danny A Sunday night at Upstairs. 'Danny was getting into an altercation by the bar with a regular patron,' says our witness. '[Leo] jumped up from his seat and stood right behind [Danny]. He was just glaring at this guy over Danny's shoulder, with his posse behind him.' The loud patron quickly quieted down."

Altogether now: Thank you "Pussy Posse."

Granted, DiCaprio's freakishly dead-on impression of a retarded man-boy in the underregarded "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" is a remarkable chestnut that must be revisited often to truly drink-in DiCaprio's Scorpionic talent at inhabiting the outer limits of humanity's fringe.

The freak.

Still (The Corsair ignites a Macanudo, chuckling laconically), we think the whole movie-stardom combined with the positively super-fucky girlfriend (Rowr) conspires to tangle up Leo's mane with an overabundance of pride. Ergo: Leo's getting assy.

To wit, we counsel: desist, Leo ... desist.
Media-Whore's D'Oevres

(image via extrememortman)

Allegedly: "Here are some of the things we've heard about the Vanity Fair story that John Connolly is writing about alleged financier-perv* billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, of whom it is alleged that he retained a procurer of underage girls. Oh my God, we heard that Bill Clinton came into 4 Times Square and told Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter that this expose of Epstein must not run and of course Graydon folded like a paper doll." (Gawker)

"At a time when every move behind each presidential campaign, rumored or real, is spliced and diced on the internet and cable TV, why would the Clintons risk the sort of obloquy such ham-fisted moves invite? Especially when people love you just for being someone other than the current president?" (Portfolio)

"According to a tally provided by a Democrat who monitors campaign expenditures in Iowa, Sen. Barack Obama has spent $2.8M on television and radio advertising since June 25, when he first aired two biographical ads in markets across the state. His return on investment is debatable. Obama's $2.8M traffic total is by far the highest among Democrats. Former Sen. John Edwards has spent a paltry $23,000. Where Edwards used to lead the state by margins in the high-single digits, he is now locked in a three way race with Clinton and Obama." (TheAtlantic)

"Which powerhouse music producer likes to gear up before long sessions in the studio by watching his favorite kind of big-booty porn?" (Gatecrasher)

Monday, September 24, 2007

The Clintons Kill a Negative Story

Are the Clintons killing stories that portray them in an unfavorable light as the campaign for President heats up? Ben Smith of Politico writes that GQ spiked a piece on the Clintons by Atlantic staff writer Josh Green. Apparently the Clinton campaign staff threatened the men's magazine with a loss of access to the former President, who is slated to appear on the December cover:

'''I don't really get into the inner workings of the magazine, but I can tell you that yes, we did kill a Hillary piece. We kill pieces all the time for a variety of reasons,' Nelson said in an e-mail to Politico.''

Charmed, I'm sure. (From my other gig at FishbowlNY)
Media-Whore D'Oevres

(image via nybooks)

"President Bush and Karl Rove sat listening to Norman Podhoretz for roughly 45 minutes at the White House as the patriarch of neoconservatism argued that the United States should bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities. The meeting was not on the president’s public schedule. Rove was silent throughout, though he took notes. The president listened diligently, Podhoretz said as he recounted the conversation months later, but he 'didn’t tip his hand.'" (Politico via Drudgie-Poo)

"Tony said: 'We could see Britney all red-eyed from crying. Howie was lying in his boxers asleep on the bed. The hotel room was trashed. There were half-eaten plates of food everywhere. There were blankets all over the floor, clothes strewn everywhere. The trash was emptied everywhere over the floor. The entire place was littered with empty beer bottles and liquor bottles, small glasses of ice and cigarette butts everywhere. On the surface of the dresser, I could see mounds of white powder and a straw on top. I suspected it was cocaine or powdered methamphetamines. By the side I spotted a glass pipe, which I knew from my drugs training was often used with crystal meth.'" (Newsoftheworld)

"Opposition leaders in Germany are calling for an end to military involvement (IHT) in Afghanistan. Mounting combat casualties have party leaders in Canada also urging a pullout (TheStar). In the Netherlands, too, lawmakers are mulling a drawdown, frustrated over Dutch forces’ disproportionate share of combat missions in an increasingly restive (AP) south. Should the three countries withdraw, experts say, it would significantly hinder peacekeeping and redevelopment efforts in the war-ravaged country nearly six years after the ouster of the Taliban leadership. Germany, Canada, and the Netherlands are among the top suppliers of soldiers to the alliance, which combined account for 6,800 of NATO’s 39,000 troops (PDF) in the country." (CFR)

"A furious Courtney Love has denied she introduced Jack Osbourne to prescription drugs. Jack's mother Sharon claimed earlier this month she was 'appalled' that Courtney was the first to give her son - aged 15 at the time - the painkiller OxyContin. But the 43-year-old widow of Kurt Cobain hit back, saying: 'I never did that. I would never give drugs to a teenager. F*** you Sharon - as if I would ever give drugs to a teenager.'" (Thisislondon)

"Former President Bill Clinton will not have a policy roll in a Hillary Clinton administration, she said. At the same time, Clinton said her husband’s experience would be beneficial, and said every couple in the White House talks about the issues of the day. 'It’s the only sounding board that a president has that is completely confidential, totally there 24/7,' she said." (TheHill)

"New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson got a good review from a top Iowa political reporter for his speech last week at Tom Harkin's steak fry, which is really a steak grill. Although some other observers had a different opinion, the Des Moines Register's David Yepsen said Richardson 'gave the best overall speech of the day' in front of the 12,000 Democratic activists. 'He was forceful,' Yepsen continued. 'He was specific. He gave good sound bites.'" (LATimes)
Ahmadinejad: We Don't Have Gays in Iran

(image via d2g)

Batshit proxy warrior and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad skirted the question of the Holocaust at today's debate at Columbia. Not funny. He also claims that there are no gays in persia. Funny. From New York Magazine's liveblogging:

"2:50 p.m.: John Coatsworth is sort of mind-boggled that Ahmadinejad insists upon more "research" onto the Holocaust. Ahmadinejad is mind-boggled right back. Ooh, someone asked the gay question. Why do they have draconian laws against homosexual behavior? This is the first question that actually gives him pause. After a few moments, he starts talking about how women have a prominent role in Iranian society. Obviously. Oh, and then illegal drug trafficking. Huh.

"2:52 p.m.: Best moment by far: after Coatsworth asks the gay question again, because it went unanswered. Ahmadinejad says, 'In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country.' There is laugher and booing. He looks a little sheepish, but continues on 'We don't have homosexuals. In Iran we do not have this phenomenon, I don't know who told you that we have it.'"

Like in prison?
Trump: "I think President Bush has to go into a corner and hide"

(image via cnn via getty)

Flush with adrenaline after his oily media wresling match with Rosie, our favorite short-fingered vulgarian has some crisp smack-talk for the President. From CNN:

"Donald Trump has some advice for President Bush if he wants a Republican to win the White House: Hide.

"... 'I think President Bush has to go into a corner and hide if a Republican is going to get elected,' he said. 'There is no way he is an asset. He is a huge liability, and he is going to have to do a big, big hiding act if a Republican is going to win.'"

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Corsair Classic

via socialitelife
Media-Whore D'Oevres

(image via perezhilton)

"We’re not going to believe (Fidel Castro's) still alive until he takes a nice stroll through Havana. Live. Not in some pre-taped video. And only if he’s accompanied by an independent news organization, like the Associated Press." (PerezHilton)

"Hillary Clinton will appear tomorrow on the main Sunday talk shows of the three main broadcast networks and two leading cable channels in a demonstration of her frontrunner's ability to command the spotlight and to set her own pace ... Sunday's Clintonfest is, in part, the product of the careful rationing of her time. Her staff makes no secret of the fact that she prefers the morning and daytime television shows watched by more "real people" -- and, particularly, women, where she's less likely to be challenged on, for instance, her vote on the Iraq war." (Politoco)

"The Justice Department is seeking to overturn a D.C. Circuit appeals court ruling that the FBI raid on Rep. William Jefferson’s (D-La.) office last year violated the Constitution. The decision is reopening a separation-of-powers battle over how much protection federal lawmakers should have from government prosecutors’ investigations." (TheHill)

"If you have any idea who Kim Kardashian is, you'lve probably seen the Kim Kardashian sex tape, which means you've pretty much seen everything there is to see concerning Kim Kardashian. So why Playboy is announcing that she shows one breast and a naked ass in their new issue is beyond me.And get this, according to Us Weekly, she wasn't supposed to show anything at all. Yeah, that's right. She was doing Playboy, and her breast 'accidentally' slipped out. Kardashian's 12-page pictorial 'will be one of the longest spreads Hef has done in a long time,' says the source. In fact, the source says, Kardashian and Hef are choosing the final photos for the spread today. And of course, scenes from the Playboy shoot will show up in Kardashian's upcoming E! reality show. Of course." (Egotastic via Socialitelife)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Media-Whore D'Oevres

(image via nysocialdiary)

"Eleanora Kennedy introduced me to the Secretary General of the United Nations Ban Ki-moon and Madame Ban. When I was ten, the Secretary General (it was Trygve Lie at the time) was a monumental character, absent from our sight. Now I was shaking the Secretary General’s hand, and his wife’s hand. The Bans are from Korea. They were very soft-spoken and gracious. And I was very impressed. About seven-thirty, quarter-to-eight, everyone had taken his or her seats. Sigourney Weaver spoke. Then the Secretary-General. The premiere of 'Trade' was held for the benefit of the UN Office on Drugs and Crime and Equality Now, an international human rights organization that works to end violence and discrimination against women and girls around the world through action and mobilization of public pressure." (NYSocialDiary)

"A TVNewser tipster says Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton will be a guest on all five (MTP, Face The Nation, This Week, Fox News Sunday and Late Edition) Sunday morning public affairs shows." (TVNewser)

"The friction between DreamWorks and Paramount showed no signs of dissipating Wednesday, as DreamWorks Animation topper Jeffrey Katzenberg defended Steven Spielberg and threw an elbow at Viacom chief Philippe Dauman. 'As a filmmaker, storyteller, artist and conscience, Steven Spielberg is nothing short of a national treasure,' Katzenberg said at the Goldman Sachs Communacopia media confab. 'To suggest that not having Steven Spielberg is completely immaterial seems ill-advised. I think calmer heads need to prevail here.'" (Variety)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Phil Spector Pulled a Gun on Walter Cronkite's Daughter

(image via thesource)

Okay, Fellini is officially a prophet and not rendered under the category of surrealist filmmaker. The whole wide world is wild at heart and crazy all over, Sailor. According to Joan Rivers, who was on the Howard Stern show on Monday, she had Phil Spector thrown out her her WASP-manque dinner parties because he pulled a gun on the fruit of the venerable anchor's loins. From Marksfriggin:

"Joan said that Phil once pulled a gun on Walter Cronkite's daughter. Howard wondered what she said to him that made him pull a gun on her. Joan said she wasn't sure but she had to have him kicked out of her party because of it. The jury hasn't been able to come up with an answer yet and she thinks that they're just stupid."
Courtney Love Ruins Kate Moss' Dress

Poor Kate doesn't look to be having a good time here. (image via thisislondon)

We do love "Court Love". How can you not? She's a big, fucked-up mess with a soft, candy coated center (Aaw..). She was aeons ahead of conventional thinking on the stupid-ass business model of the thoroughly pimpy music industry. Courtney Love is like a feral but cute beast rummaging through one's recyclable garbage, not unlike a baby racoon.

But -- and we're only vaguely alluding to the whole doing heroin while you're pregnant thing, because that speaks for itself -- she is a Goddam Freakshow. But that fact is mitigated by the fact that she was abused by the disgusting Ted Nungent.

And now, clumsily, The Freakshow ruins the fragile Kate Moss' dress, in full view of cameras. We can only assume Court Love sealed the deal with a lusty belch followed by a surly "WhyDon'tchalook WhereYerGoing" growl calculated to rasp Moss' equilibrium. From thisisLondon:

"Miss Moss had arrived for the Golden Age of Couture exhibition at the Victoria and Albert museum a shimmering picture of old-school glamour.

"Unfortunately that's when Courtney Love put her foot in it. Or rather on it."

"The 43-year-old American actress, not noticing Miss Moss's two-foot train, stomped all over the delicate satin."

What a meaningful and allusive sentence, that.

"As a distinct tearing noise reverberated around the museum, the 33-year-old supermodel anxiously looked over her shoulder to discover a tiny rip in the material.

"As the night grew longer, so did the rip - until Miss Moss's beautiful £650 gown was in tatters."

Why would anyone put anything --or anyone -- delicate in front of Courtney Love. And what is it about Kate Moss that suggests, vaguely, Tragedy?
Media-Whore D'Oevres

(image via webwombat)

"Howard said that DL (Hughley) was in the movie 'Soul Plane' and that's the one thing that he regrets doing in his career. DL said he sold out by doing that and he knew it was going to be horrible. He said his wife wanted a hard wood floor so that's why he did it. He said he thought he was going to be able to redeem himself by doing Studio 60 but that show got canceled." (Marksfriggin)

"Adult Swim and mobile provider Helio will make their presence known on a dozen college campuses as sponsors for a hip-hop tour headlined by Ghostface Killah." (multichannel)
Oh Snap!

(image via jaunted)

From our pal Michael Musto:

"While Britney is stagnating in her look-ma-no-underwear highway-hooker image, Christina Aguilera's going for class—but alas, that resulted in her energy-sucking duet with Tony Bennett on the Emmys, which could have benefitted from Christina grabbing Tony's crotch a few times. Other losers that night included Jeremy Piven's weave ..."

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Tarantino Not Interested In Directing Heroes

Remember back in the day when QT was -- sotto voce -- ghetto? He didn't know he was famous so he was on every tv show that asked him -- even on Politically Incorrect -- squandering much of his "mystique capital," even as he was being touted as the hottest new director since Spielberg. Back in the day Tarantino disgustingly used the guise of a "casting call" to inject actresses in the tush.

Can you say ghetto?

QT was even posed in a Bikini Magazine photo spread sipping on a 22-ouncer of high-gravity malt liquor St. Ides.

The pimp move, to be sure, would have been to remain silent. Let your films speak for themselves. It never hurt Kubrick. Well, on the subject of "Heroes," QT is silent, interspersed, of course, with some colorful language. Tarantino wants you to know that he doesn't want to direct that show. Only ... he uses another four letter word that starts with the letter "s" instead of "show" From Cinematical:

"Dark Horizons has spotlighted an interview with Quentin Tarantino that will have geeks everywhere bemoaning what might have been. Tarantino has turned down an offer to direct an episode of the hit NBC drama Heroes. His reason? He doesn't know what Heroes is. QT told The Sun, 'They were trying to get me to do one. I haven't even seen the f***ing show. What the f*** is Heroes?'"

See, they approached the whole thing incorrectly. If they had sent over a picture of Hayden Pantierre's feet -- so as to show him what he has to, eh, work with -- they would have had to beat him off (in retrospect, a poor choice of words) the set with the proverbial stick.
Lindsay Lohan: I Hate Hollywood

Hott. (image via hecklerspray)

We are not quite sure how the luscious LiLo will react to the fact that her dad, with whom she has only just recently reconciled, did a paid interview with the extremely downmarket Newsoftheworld, essentially revealing the contents of their private chat. It might just be the shortest father-daughter reconciliation in history.

Add into the mix the fact that she trashes Hollywood -- a town which is not entirely pro-Lohan to begin with (If only Lilo's box office figures were as robust as her bust). According to the extremely downmarket Newsoftheworld:

"He smiled: 'As soon as I arrived Lindsay rushed into my arms, then curled up on my lap and sobbed like a baby.

"Lindsay said, ‘Daddy, I have done some terrible things and been addicted to drugs but please believe me I will never do drugs again.

"She said she does not want to live in Hollywood as that is where this evil in her life happens.

"She said, ‘I hate Hollywood and I don't want to work there. I need a break and I am moving away'."

Well, we have to agree with he about the angry red, soul-sipping, youth eating evil of Hollywood.
The 62nd Session of the General Assembly Begins

And so it begins. (image via terridanielsbooks)

International heavyweights prowl the streets of New York. Next week Iranian president Mahmoud Amadinejad goes before the General Assembly -- his metier -- to defend his country's nuclear program. Already Iran has given a diplomatic Persian rug to Secretary General Ban Ki Moon. Ahmadinejad leaves for New York on Sunday despite calls from Washington -- largely political -- that he not be allowed. Iran, which just dismissed French sabre rattling, will use his position as de facto head of the anti-Western forces in the General Assembly (And, sadly, George Bush's unbelievably rash unilateralism has fed the fires of the anti-Western forces). It is an open question as to whether or not Mahmoud Abudinejad will be met with cheers or boos. Even if, however, Ahmadinejad is given a warm reception at Turtle Bay, Arab nations have retained as eerie silence on the Israeli strike against its ally in the region, Syria.

The climate summit is scheduled for Monday. Darfur, too, is high on the agenda. From the International Herald Tribune: "Before next month's peace talks, the U.N. and its allies must persuade Darfur's fragmented rebel groups to sit down with the Sudanese government, a goal that has proved elusive in the past. Abdel Wahid Nur, one of the most influential rebel leaders, has said he will not participate."

"'This will be a most intense period of multilateral diplomacy ever in the United Nations’ history, I believe,' Mr. Ban told reporters in New York." This is how the 62nd session of the General assembly began today. Among the interesting upcoming votes is one -- for the 15th year in a row -- on the continued blockade of Cuba.

And in a demoralizing sign of china's rib-busting ox-strength, Taiwan's bid to become a member was declared "legally impossible." The spectre of China looms large over Taiwan's horizon.
Media-Whore D'Oevres

(image via videodetective)

"A ravishing, magisterial, poetic epic that moves its characters toward their tragic destinies with all the implacability of a Greek drama, 'The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford' is one of the best Westerns of the 1970s, which represents the highest possible praise. It's a magnificent throwback to a time when filmmakers found all sorts of ways to refashion Hollywood's oldest and most durable genre." (Variety)

"f, several decades from now, anthropologists set out to locate the spiritual hub of early twenty-first-century Washington, they could do worse than the Caucus Room, that bunker of a steakhouse across from the FBI building downtown. Founded seven years ago by a bipartisan klatch of moneymen and influence-peddlers--among them, famed lobbyist Tommy Boggs, Bush-family henchman C. Boyden Gray, and Clinton fund-raiser Terry McAuliffe--the restaurant caters to the bland appetites and bulging egos of Washington's expense-account elite ... Even the restaurant's jokes are inside. There is, for example, the Caucus Room's 'Haley's Chopped Salad.' This is a bowl of greens topped with mustard vinaigrette and Maytag blue cheese. It is named after another one of the restaurant's owners--former Republican lobbyist and current Mississippi governor Haley Barbour--who, judging from his ample jowls and girth, wouldn't know a salad if it were." (TNR)

"US and Indian military sources say that, if successful, the twin launch by the same Polaris/TecSat vehicle Sept. 17-20 will add Israel to the few nations with imaging radar reconnaissance satellites able to distinguish camouflaged vehicles from rocky terrain – by night and through foliage. The Israeli military satellite will lift off along with India’s first military recon spacecraft, Cartosat 2A. They will be fired in an approximately 600-km polar orbit atop the same Polar Satellite Launch Vehicle from an island in the Bay of Bengal. The data-gathering features of Polaris 1 are especially pertinent for a potential attack on Iran’s nuclear facilities." (Debka)

"After opening with Julian Schnabel's 'The Diving Bell and The Butterfly' on October 10th, the 2007 Woodstock Film Festival will close on October 14th with Todd Haynes' 'I'm Not There,' the festival announced today (Tuesday)." (Indiewire)
Rosie: Oprah's "invitation made me cry"

Deciphering Rosie's doggerel is a complex task requiring advanced degrees in Indo-European languages. Surely .. she jests (The Corsair expectorates into the blogosphere). Is this what happens once one gets that wealthy off of morning television? Blogging in tongues?

(The Corsair sips a glass of Montrachet) Here is the text, right off her blog, regarding the reasons as to why she is not doing Oprah (Which, we are sure, is driving her poor book publisher to a slow and choking death):

"oprah is a force of nature
her invitation made me cry
her kind words about the book
reinforces what we all know
2 b true about her

"although fueds seems 2 b all the rage
there isnt one
regardless of what u read
or see on fast food tv

"with pure intent
comes pure result
we pray"

OJ: "I'm Coming for you Next, Howard (Stern)"

(image via orbitcast)

Artie Lang, who did a surreal job on a surreal season of "Rescue Me" tells Sports Illustrated about a memorable Howard Stern show moment. From Sports Illustrated:

" Who's been the best sports guest since you joined the show?

"Lange: For me, it's Lawrence Taylor. I've been here for three of L.T.'s visits. He's always great. The weirdest and most interesting thing happened the first time L.T. came in. The interview went great. He's always a funny, honest interview. So during a commercial he got on the cell phone and tells Howard: 'Hey, my friend wants to talk to you.' He hands the phone to Howard and doesn't tell him who it is. It took Howard a few moments to realize it was O.J. Simpson.

"L.T. had called him on the golf course and I heard O.J. talking a mile a minute. He was yelling at Howard, saying 'I'm coming for you next, Howard. You're f---ing with me. I'm coming for you next.' Almost goofing on him. That's what I heard, though Howard never told me what he said. L.T. saw Howard squirming and was laughing."

50 Cent Cancells European Tour

(image via bloggingstocks)

The music industry is filled with liars who prolonged their adolescence by getting into spandex and pretending they are seventeen. How many times has KISS "retired"? How many times has Barbara Streisand, or even Rod Stewart given their "last" concert? We won't even get into Jay-Z.

That having been said, as 50 Cent is worth hundreds of millions due to an uncanny business sense and some goddamn Smart Water, it is not inconceivable that he might retire. From the 3AM Girls:

"He threatened to retire if his chart rival Kanye West beat him in the battle to No.1 - and it looks like 50 Cent is a man of his word.

"Just hours after his new album Curtis lost out to Kanye's Graduation, Fiddy sensationally axed all his European commitments this week.

"This includes his much-hyped double appearance at both the Mobos and the Vodafone Live Music Awards tomorrow night.

"His cancellation has shocked both sets of awards organisers."
Media-Whore D'Oevres

"You don't need a forensics lab to confirm that David Chase put out a hit on President Bush (and Sally Field ) in his Emmy speech Sunday night ...Elsewhere, the singer born Tony Benedetto agreed with Chase's sentiment about the Bushies, telling us, 'WASPs can be the deadliest gangsters. ... It's an unconstitutional war.' He also said he was 'overwhelmed' by the seven Emmys he came away with for his special, "Tony Bennett: An American Classic." (RushandMolloy)

"Obama has claimed that he alone among the Democrats can 'redraw the political map,' specifically citing his ability to put Southern states like Mississippi into play by increasing African-American turnout." (Time)

"Which older half of a hot new Hollywood couple comes with the reputation of having hit his celebrity former girlfriend?" (NYDN)

"WHICH London designer was so rude to the models at show castings last week that some of the best girls walked out? No wonder so many people skipped that show this season in favor of parties..." (Fashionista)